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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-24-2008, 09:42 AM
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I appreciate what you were saying about the H missing when you first see the name tag, it's something I should have paid more attention to. But I don't think it effects it too much, with the description the guy on the left (me) gives being quite clear. If it's Hannah or Anna (regarding the pronunciation) it means the same.

The line 'go tell her something' is there for the purpose of being open ended. The meaning of Hannahs name was mentioned, as 'she has found favour with God'. When Hannah joins him at the bus stop Matt can either bring up her name in conversation, or just as he has had his names meaning explained as to be a blessing to others, he could just say something nice or just be an encouragement or a friendly face. It's up to the viewer to decide in their own mind what happens next.

MrFluffy, I think in my head I saw the Welsh man as more of an angel type figure, so it's interesting that you saw into it that he was God himself. But then it wasn't in black and white so again, it's all open to interpritation.
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Old 10-24-2008, 03:50 PM
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Thanks for clearing that up, Clay.

MrFluffy, I don't think it was his accent that muddied it for me, more the fact that aspirates ("H"s) are unclear in real life let alone recorded. Interestingly I might have found it clearer if we hadn't been shown the name on the "licence plate". As I say, it wasn't a biggie, I just missed it the first time.

As for the surprise, I see what you mean, but to me the fact that the Welshman was a messenger from God or even God himself - certainly "other worldly" was clear from the time he produced the "Matt" licence plate - and it seemd (to me) totally appropriate that he disappeared as he did. A nice touch, but no surprise here.

Back to the name - he clearly say's "Anna" rather than "Hannah" at the end. Whilst the names may mean the same it does matter. It should be clear it's the same name. Unless you're aiming for ambiguity.

OK I'm quite happy with the closing line being deliberately open ended (thanks for explaining that - I was obviously looking too deep) but I don't really understand why he should want to tell her anything.
In fact one interpretation might be that if he's just had a revelation that he's responsible for his own life, his own personality and he's not the product of what others tell him he is, then the first thing he might question is why on earth he should do what this stranger has told him.

Still, it's provoked discussion, so to that end it's been a success
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Old 10-24-2008, 04:30 PM
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I am more inclined to agree with you Tim with regards to the name. It should have had more clarification, either the plate fully visible and / or the pronunciation more audible and clear. It does leave it open for confusion and that's probably the biggest thing I'll learn from this. Unfortunately I don't have any shot that will clear it up, I'm out of time too so it's not possible to re-shoot.

It's all a learning process isn't it.

It's funny, this thread has had more discussion and thought into the meaning of it all than I put into the actual script writing!
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Old 10-24-2008, 07:49 PM
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Great short man, I do agree with the first 60 seconds or so being a bit jumpy. But, this is a really great work. I am new on the forums but really loved this.
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Old 10-25-2008, 08:18 AM
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Hi Clay, im feeling a little easy now others agree with the edit in the first 60 seconds, sometimes its tricky to be the first to call fault on a video where someone has gone to lengths to actually make a video with a message, and something which sits in the back of your mind..

I have to say I have watched it more than any other on these forums, its a mighty fine effort. Wondering when you shoot you have a mental image of the edit before you start, I find it nice to line up the visuals in my mind, and try to stick to them, a good way of practicing this is to shoot movies in camera without any editing, makes you think well before you shoot.

The old super 8 format is a excellent way of really setting yourself a test, no edit search while shooting on a film camera, once the film is exposed thats it.

You have achieved a very tricky thing to do, sew a seed in peoples mind via a video, I believe you have done this here. Short screenplays are most difficult in my mind, only exprienced or gifted video makers can make them work.

I can be brutal, but hopefully totally fair as well, I was worried my thoughts were a little too strong for what is basically a well produced little screenplay.

I have yet to peruse your youtube channel, I have been snowed down with youtube mail..

The Mad Bomber. (brutal but fair)
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:02 AM
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Great little film. Very thought provoking! Good running time as well (gotta learn that trick myself, tentboy pushes 9 mins which probably doesn't help its case especially on youtube). Keep up the good work!
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Old 10-27-2008, 12:55 PM
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If the video has good content time is not a issue, I believe tent boy has what it takes to keep people interested.

My 10 min video on youtube just pushed through 1 million views, its all about content is king, thats my video mantra.

This video of clays is very topical, and its seed is a powerful one, mind you it is pulling from wonderment which has always had no problem in gaining attention.

Its been a very good time for user videos, much enjoyed this months epics.

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Old 10-27-2008, 02:27 PM
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If you enjoyed this months just wait until next months! Well done on the views as well. 1 million views is pretty darn cool.
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:04 PM
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Thanks for all the positive comments you guys. The guy who I made this for (who set me the brief) saw it for the first time yesterday and loved it. So mission accomplished!
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Old 10-29-2008, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by clay_9 View Post
Thanks for all the positive comments you guys. The guy who I made this for (who set me the brief) saw it for the first time yesterday and loved it. So mission accomplished!

Cool, its a great piece of work!
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