Hey everyone,

I've not posted here before because this is the first film I've ever made. I'd really appreciate any opinions you have, good or bad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3rPGEAQswU

It's on YouTube because it's for a competition and they required I upload it there, so sorry about the quality.

It's a film noir, which I think was rather ambitious as a first project given that:

1. I don't live in a city
2. I don't live in America
3. I'm not American for that matter
4. I had to maintain certain futuristic elements
5. I had to fit it into the continuity of someone else's story
6. I had just one week to make it
7. I had to fit it all into a maximum of 90 seconds
8. I've not actually watched very much film noir
9. I've never done any CGI before
10. I had zero budget

Yeah, so out of my depth

Anyway, I look forward to your comments.

For a first project it's very impressive.

I personally don't like adding "film noise" to a video. When I watch a DVD of an old forties black and white film I don't see scratches and dust, so I don't feel that there's any need to add it. Just my personal opinion.

The sound was very good, the voice over fitted very well and the music was just right. My only criticism about the film making was that I find the shot in the Graveyard not "noir" enough to fit with the rest of the images.
But still, I really enjoyed it, pity it was only 90 seconds...

I really liked that, the v over was ace, it really captured the right vibe. I know what guru means about the processing, I think it may be better in un messed b/w.

I cant want for more from you Seej.

BTW, you say you are in yorkshire but the film is shot where i live in Bristol? Are you a student?

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Guru - I know what you mean and I was in two minds about whether to apply that effect or just leave things B&W. In the end I decided that since I was using the genre stereotypes to allow me to quickly develop characters and story in the short amount of time I was allowed, I should go all out and really make it look old-fashioned. If I was making anything longer than about 3 minutes it would have annoyed me and I would have had more time to build atmosphere so I would have just gone for the black and white. As for the graveyard, my problem was in catching outdoor shots at the right time of day to get grimy lighting - it didn't always work.

Mark - the final scene pulling back from the lights is the furthest away from home I got while shooting - a good 5 miles away. The other outdoor shots are all done in and around Mytholmroyd, West Yorkshire (near Halifax). Believe me, it's not easy trying to make a tiny town in the country look like a city

Thanks both of you for the compliments and the great feedback.

I liked that. Really fun. Just the cellphone though. If its an old movie would it not be an older phone like one on the wall? Thats the only thing that through me off a bit.

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I can only echo the previous comments. It’s a riveting way to tell a short story, and great for someone with limited resources. Why not add to it as a film in itself?

If it fits with someone else's story, can we see the whole piece?

Onomoto - like I said, I was trying to fit my story into the continuity of another story which is based in a futuristic society, so an old-fashioned phone wouldn't make sense.

Tony - the whole story is a pretty complicated one that's been running for over a year - check www.perplexcity.com for futher details.

If I have time over my summer holidays I might do a longer sequel since I seem to have been getting pretty positive feedback. Thanks.

EDIT: thanks also to makotosun and minsh for your kind comments below.

I really liked it. Obviously, the comments above are on point, but film noir is such a neat medium.

I have been working on putting together a film noir storyline as an intro to a vacation video. I found a great resource in this site, which streams 30's and 40's detective radio shows http://www.audionoir.com/

Plus it is a nice diversion to listen to while editing.

Again, I have gotten a number of ideas from your work, and would second the idea to create a full video story using this as a start. Great work for starting out!

OMG. This really looked like it was filmed a long time ago! GREAT

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I thought the commentary accent was great and I liked the theme. I thought that black and white instead of sepia may have worked a bit better overall though.

My only slight (constructive) criticism is that some of the indoor lighting could have been made a little more atmospheric (more shadows?) and that when he lit the ciggy, you could have made more of the smoke using a close up with a harsh light. But hey!! - you made an interesting film that made me watch with interest.

I enjoyed.

Good luck

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