I think we can take it the Music is OK, it's the camera angles, shot-size and the general clutter that's too obviously sharp. I've seen screens you put behind mics to improve the acoustics, maybe a (larger) screen round the players so we don't see the junk, far cheaper than moving to a recording studio, which will be pricey.
If we're being shown people (that aren't performers) there should be cutaways of an appreciative audience, and pref pretty.
Unless you're being paid, the recording gear should not be included in the shot, it's a distraction which the performers will not like, indeed the best vids of such sessions are probably dubbed so the mic is missing altogether (or placed as a prop)....
+ (I liked the Vocals/Music.)