Overall I like it, is it finished/submitted?
I think it could do with an intro shot for the girl, like the guys ball-throwing shot.
I'd add a more prominent title at the end after they walk away with a bigger centred SunsetSoulmate.com logo.
I think the letter-boxing should have been consistent throughout, it looks unprofessional when borders appear, disappear, re-appear in different sizes etc. but that's a minor point and an easy fix.
I would have made it brighter, more colourfull after they've found each other, but it might be the compression making it look a bit more dreary than it is on TV.
The idea was good though, and the shots and simple editing worked well I think. tough to do it all in 30 seconds but you managed it.
Panasonic SD9, Panasonic NVGS-75, Canon MV600i