Last edited by Alpine Jones; 09-01-2006 at 12:53 AM.
http://TomahawkPunch.com-Home of the Irregular
How much time was put into this?
The camera angels didnt do much to help the story. And not to be mean, but there wasnt much of a story. Reminded me of Napolean Dynamite.
You want feedback on direction? The begining of the story had the viewer meet his roomate. I didnt see much of a point to this because his roommate played no role in the story. Had we seen him poking him with a stick in the room we could have assumed that and at the end where he pokes his body we could assume thats any old dude walking down the street. When it went to his ghost still haunts the school you should have ended it there, because all the extra stuff was pretty lame.
The story needed a lot of work, I would assume this took a day to come up with, the editing process wasnt bad, but the quality of the video was horriable, but you said you had a bad camera, and I know how that is. So yea, have a story before you film, or at least a story with a point.
My suggestion on story was after seeng him fail, have him:
1) Do better.
2) Fail, and have to work and see the hardships he has to go through.
3) Fail, and have him go home to confront his parents who were putting him thorugh college.
Those were off the top of my head so you would have to expand on them.
But keep on truckin'
Make it shorter, I got bored really quickly.