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Thread: Please review - Video Competition Submission (Shot on Lumix GH4)

  1. Default Please review - Video Competition Submission (Shot on Lumix GH4)

    Hey there,

    Have made an entry into a video competition and would like thoughts on what I could do better? We were not able to take a slider or anything, which I think is my immediate area for improved shots? Post your thoughts please, this is my first competition! If you like it, please do so on Vimeo, if you really like it please share also??




    or

    http://bit.ly/mymtblife

    UPDATED VIDEO:


    Last edited by ryanstarrett; 07-07-2016 at 04:28 AM.

  2. #2

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    I think you did a good job with this. You are obviously not a beginner so I'll be much more critical than I normally would be.

    The opening shot looked more like the camera was searching for focus than an actual focus pull. I'm sure you know the focus should go from one thing to another not this, that, something else. It's great that you have some sort of a narrative so showing the close up of the bike and the trees etc. is good but the opening tree shots should really be shot with a really steady hand or a tripod, the wobble was a distraction for me. The focus pull at 30 seconds (putting the goggles on shot) wasn't really needed, looks like that one was done in post so you could take it out.

    You have a great variety of shots, focal lengths etc. so that's good. The cuts match the music well leading to the build up of getting started. At around 0:48 there was a strange jump cut was that for effect or another reason ? You also did it at 1:08 Great camera work and editing of the actual down hill ride. You seem to have mastered this really well. The timing of the cuts etc. seem to be spot on.

    To me it seems like a very accomplished piece over all.

  3. #3
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    Hi Ryan and welcome. I hope you will enter into the spirit of the forum and take time out to offer your comments on one or two other people's videos.

    A good start - showing preparation with a variety of close-ups. You had some pretty smooth camera movement and it is clear where you would have used a slider if you'd had one. But don't use that as an excuse - why follow the crowd anyway?
    Which brings me on to pull focus. You used far too much of it in my opinion. It draws attention to the camera work rather than contributing to the film. The point of pull focus is to draw the viewers attention from one part of the image to another as the focus of the story/message shifts from one area to another. In too many shots it is a distraction rather than an enhancement. Also, when you do use it, keep the focus on the "from" focal point for long enough for the audience to take it in, move it to the "to" focal point and again leave it there for long enough for the audience to register. Too many of your shots pulled focus almost immediately, and then cut to the next shot.

    Be careful too of shots like your opening (post title) shot where the focus goes first one way then back again. In my view one should never go back, just like with panning. A video takes the viewer on a journey. If your shot goes from A to B you do not wnat to go back to A again.

    Overall the colour was good and you went to some trouble to get a variety of angles although the subject matter meant that even these became rather repetitive. Not all shots were perfect and I think if you were more ruthless and cut out all but the very best shots, you'd solve both problems.

    I loved the sound - whether you'd used original audio of the bike passing or dubbed it doesn't matter - it really adds to the "being there". It worked really well as the bike passes close to the camera.

    There was a horrible jump cut at 0:49 but other than this I thought the editing was very good. A common problem is dealing with changes in direction of action, but you have manged to handle these really well in my opinion. For example the cut immediately following the bad jump cut just mentioned shouldn't work because the direction of action changes by 180 degrees. However by cutting at just the right point and by making use of the tree as a mask and the use of the audio the cut just flows.

    Sadly, after paying attention to the start of the film, you didn't have an end. It just stopped which me feeling dissatisfied.

    A couple of words on copyright. Do you have the rights to dub the music? If not, you may find that some of the world cannot watch or hear the video. And do you have the rights to use the manufacturer's logos?

    In summary, too much pull focus, good variety of shots but becomes repetitive because too long, excellent editing and use of audio. Where';s the ending?

    [Edit: I actually started this before Midnight had posted. As you can see, were are pretty much of the same opinion - which is not always the case!]
    Tim

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    As usual, Tim and MB covered 100% (or 350%) of what we - mortals - can talk about. So I´ll just reinforce the lack of ending... Something simple as you drinking some water in the middle of the woods after the great ride, a group of friends together with the bikes on the back (a great reason for a focus pull?? ) Well, a closing shot, loonngg fade out and music drop.... But you got some really nice shots there! Well done!

  5. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight Blue View Post
    I think you did a good job with this. You are obviously not a beginner so I'll be much more critical than I normally would be.

    The opening shot looked more like the camera was searching for focus than an actual focus pull. I'm sure you know the focus should go from one thing to another not this, that, something else. It's great that you have some sort of a narrative so showing the close up of the bike and the trees etc. is good but the opening tree shots should really be shot with a really steady hand or a tripod, the wobble was a distraction for me. The focus pull at 30 seconds (putting the goggles on shot) wasn't really needed, looks like that one was done in post so you could take it out.

    You have a great variety of shots, focal lengths etc. so that's good. The cuts match the music well leading to the build up of getting started. At around 0:48 there was a strange jump cut was that for effect or another reason ? You also did it at 1:08 Great camera work and editing of the actual down hill ride. You seem to have mastered this really well. The timing of the cuts etc. seem to be spot on.

    To me it seems like a very accomplished piece over all.

    Thanks for the feedback. The strange jump at 0:48 was essentially me being unsure which one to use so was left in for effect (poorly in heinsight). Probably better to just stick it out with one!

  6. Default

    Thanks Tim, I agree with the pull focus comments. I think it was possibly a result of shots not being too well thought out while on the spot. The ideal use for it which you have mentioned will be useful for future projects. Same with panning etc.

    The audio was a mix of original bike sounds and dubbed in other situations depending on each shot.

    Your comments about the end have been informing as well. Originally I wanted to it to build and end it feeling like the journey was still going etc. But in the sense of telling a full story it does make sense to have some sort of closure to bring it full circle.

    In regards to copyright, I'm in the process of finalising the music, the other logo's were provided by one of the company's as a requirement for the video.

    I appreciate your feedback! Highly useful, thanks.



    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    Hi Ryan and welcome. I hope you will enter into the spirit of the forum and take time out to offer your comments on one or two other people's videos.

    A good start - showing preparation with a variety of close-ups. You had some pretty smooth camera movement and it is clear where you would have used a slider if you'd had one. But don't use that as an excuse - why follow the crowd anyway?
    Which brings me on to pull focus. You used far too much of it in my opinion. It draws attention to the camera work rather than contributing to the film. The point of pull focus is to draw the viewers attention from one part of the image to another as the focus of the story/message shifts from one area to another. In too many shots it is a distraction rather than an enhancement. Also, when you do use it, keep the focus on the "from" focal point for long enough for the audience to take it in, move it to the "to" focal point and again leave it there for long enough for the audience to register. Too many of your shots pulled focus almost immediately, and then cut to the next shot.

    Be careful too of shots like your opening (post title) shot where the focus goes first one way then back again. In my view one should never go back, just like with panning. A video takes the viewer on a journey. If your shot goes from A to B you do not wnat to go back to A again.

    Overall the colour was good and you went to some trouble to get a variety of angles although the subject matter meant that even these became rather repetitive. Not all shots were perfect and I think if you were more ruthless and cut out all but the very best shots, you'd solve both problems.

    I loved the sound - whether you'd used original audio of the bike passing or dubbed it doesn't matter - it really adds to the "being there". It worked really well as the bike passes close to the camera.

    There was a horrible jump cut at 0:49 but other than this I thought the editing was very good. A common problem is dealing with changes in direction of action, but you have manged to handle these really well in my opinion. For example the cut immediately following the bad jump cut just mentioned shouldn't work because the direction of action changes by 180 degrees. However by cutting at just the right point and by making use of the tree as a mask and the use of the audio the cut just flows.

    Sadly, after paying attention to the start of the film, you didn't have an end. It just stopped which me feeling dissatisfied.

    A couple of words on copyright. Do you have the rights to dub the music? If not, you may find that some of the world cannot watch or hear the video. And do you have the rights to use the manufacturer's logos?

    In summary, too much pull focus, good variety of shots but becomes repetitive because too long, excellent editing and use of audio. Where';s the ending?

    [Edit: I actually started this before Midnight had posted. As you can see, were are pretty much of the same opinion - which is not always the case!]

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by ryanstarrett View Post
    l. Originally I wanted to it to build and end it feeling like the journey was still going etc.
    If you want to do that, consider closing on a shot of the bike going away from the camera rather than towards. Here's an example I did from a few years ago - not a great video, but I think it demonstrates the idea of an onward journey pretty effectively.
    https://youtu.be/wSfwDEQvW7E
    Tim

  8. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    If you want to do that, consider closing on a shot of the bike going away from the camera rather than towards. Here's an example I did from a few years ago - not a great video, but I think it demonstrates the idea of an onward journey pretty effectively.
    https://youtu.be/wSfwDEQvW7E
    Yeah I can see what you mean, the same shot going away from the camera definitely changes the feel! Thanks Tim

  9. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    If you want to do that, consider closing on a shot of the bike going away from the camera rather than towards. Here's an example I did from a few years ago - not a great video, but I think it demonstrates the idea of an onward journey pretty effectively.
    https://youtu.be/wSfwDEQvW7E

    Tim, how did you like the end to this one? (And the video in general?)

    bit.ly/themtblife

  10. #10
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    I think it worked better. This had a definite end. I think it could still be improved by making the shot immediately before the removal of the helmet include the rider going out of (or very nearly out of) sight, as at present it feels like the end shot truncates the previous shot. Other thna that I thought the editing was nicely paced, and the cuts well executed.
    The voicover at the beginning suffers from some "popping" as your breath hits the mic. If you get a chance, re-record. (These things sound so simple when put like that, but that's probably a whole evening's work just to re record, "treat" and re-edit.
    Tim

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