Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: More feedback please

  1. #1

    Default

    If I'm not being overly pushy, could I get your opinion (or anyone else's, of course) on one other film I put together? Obviously, most of the things you said about the other one (if not all) apply to this one as well, but is there anything else I'm doing wrong over here? Two mistakes I'm already aware of are the intrusive color grading and the godawful video compression (I wasn't fully aware of Vimeo optimization algorithms at the time), but other than that, I'm open to any and all critique.

    Again, many thanks!

    Last edited by TimStannard; 05-19-2016 at 01:02 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Surrey, UK
    Posts
    10,847
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Don't have time to comment now, but having watched it once, this is in a different class to the bike one. Much more appealing Really nice film. More later ...
    Tim

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Surrey, UK
    Posts
    10,847
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Why did this work much better that the motorcycle film for me?

    1. it had a clearer structure
    2. It wasn't easy to predict what shot would come next.
    3. The "next" shot often surprised me and took me (and the film) to another place.

    Structure: It begins at the beginning of a journey. It ends with a sunset (cliché, but there's a reason clichés have become such) and throughout we are travelling - on several different forms of transport. So, we have focus and structure - a journey made using several forms of transport across some changing landscapes/scenery. It doesn't matter whether these were made literally on the same day (or even in the same country come to that) for the purpose of the film, it leads us, the viewers, on a journey.

    The beginning is excellent.The use of a static shot at the railway station with the timelapse of people apparently rushing around, contrasts very nicely with the rest of teh movie which is basically moving but relaxed shots and relaxed music. You have implied taking us out of busy urban life into relaxed country life,. The shot of the girl (presumably you) having time to look our of the window and take in the scenery emphasizes this and the shot of the sleeping girl relly drives home the point. This is an excellent start.

    We get a few shots from the train -all quite different, and just as we're beginning to get accostomed to thsi we get the shot of water in turbulence - a surprising shot, and our first indication hat this is not all going to be about a train journey. Indeed we now get a wide variety of water transport shots, with plenty of scenery and occasional wildlife thrown in. We possibly had a bit too much of this, but before I became bored the mode of transport changed to horse and cart. Then we're back on water and train during evening for a full circle to close.

    Very good.

    OK Scope for improvement.
    1. The timelapse was good at the beginning, but I wasn;t so sure about it elsewhere. It seemed out of place with the relaxed feel of the film. the one exception was was the timelapse of the sun moving across the sky as, without anything else really moving in the scene this did not feel hurried (and it was timed beautifully to fit with "cos we've got time" lyric). The timelapse at 4:02 with the jittery flag particularly grated.
    2. Direction. When showing a journey try to be consistent with the direction you are showing traveling in - particularly between shots that are cut together. Shots out of the left window of a train move in the opposite direction from shots out of the right window. Cut together this can look like you go back on yourself. Always intercut a neutral shot. This can be extended to general direction of travel. You end the movie with two sunset sequences - on boat and on rail, but the boat is traveling away from the sunset and the train is traveling into the sunset. this causes an contradiction in the viewers mind.
    3. Try to avoid cutting (or, even worse, dissolving) from one shot to a similar shot unless you are deliberately trying for a jump cut/special effect. The cut between the cows is an example of this (it sort of looks like the trees have suddenly been made to disappear). You almost use this to good effect with the boat at 2:42 as you can use this technique to show passing of time, but I think you really need to do it at least twice in a sequence to sell the idea that it wasn't just poor edit.

    Overall an excellent effort. Just try to make sure you use any particular effects (slo mo, dissolve, timelapse) for a specific reason, rather than solely to add variety.

    I'd just add that it is far, far easier to spot room for improvement in other people's films than one's own. I'm sure if I'd made that I'd have been pretty happy with it.
    Tim

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    Most of the shots were great and some were really great

    The music was really awful - I honestly felt I was going to be ill - after 30 seconds I had to turn off the sound to be able to watch the rest of the video - which was great - perhaps some music in your native language would fit the scenes better? - even if you stole a candy from a baby and recorded it crying I think it would be an improvement - anyway great video

  5. #5

    Default

    @Tim Stannard

    Thank you, once again, for the wonderfully detailed feedback and solid pointers! Not having any sort of training or experience with movie making, most of what I do is "by ear", simply because that's the way it looks best to me, so this point-by-point breakdown is immensely helpful in making me plan out better and doing things more deliberately and more thought out. I'm really glad to hear, though, that even with this approach, I seem to have stumbled upon something that works well. Oh, and thank you for noticing, I actually love timing the images to the music, it may very well be my favorite part of editing .

    About the scope for improvement, I really have nothing to comment, all three things make perfect sense and I'm actually a bit embarrassed that they never even occurred to me, so I'll definitely keep them in mind. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!

    @zamiotana

    I'm glad you liked the shots and the montage itself, but very sorry to hear the music was so grating. I'm not disputing it, maybe I'm just being subjective to the genre, but may I ask why it was so decidedly wrong? Was it too slow, perhaps, or just not fitting? I actually did consider some Romanian music initially, but ultimately decided against it thinking it would be too much like a travel agency's "come visit Romania" ad. Either way, thank you for the reply!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    The music didn't seem to have any association with the video so for me it was a constant distraction as opposed to complementing the imagery

    What about some nice classical music?

  7. #7

    Default

    Said it before and I'll probably say it again ... GoPro cameras are excellent when used in the capacity they were intended ... IMO, they don't work or sideways moving stuff (train pulling away from station) or for scenic stuff especially when they distort the horizon
    Are you aware you can straighten the distortion in post ?

    It's a shame really as you have some wonderful footage here.
    Last edited by enc; 05-20-2016 at 08:28 PM.
    'No longer are the pleasures of Home Movie Making limited to those with ample funds. Now the man and woman of moderate means can join the sport'..... Kodak catalogue 1933

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Surrey, UK
    Posts
    10,847
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Music's such a personal thing - the emotions and images it conjures up. I though the music was great, and despite the unrelated lyrics,I thought the feel fitted the feel of the video rather well. You can ignore Zam - he recently went to see Celine Dion and publicised the fact on this forum! You can ignore my comments too as my last gig was Yes, two weeks ago!

    I did wonder about commenting on the fish-eye effect of using GoPros, but whilst I personally dislike it, it seems to be becoming accepted as the norm and I wondered if I was becoming a bit of a dinosaur. (But enc is somewhat younger than me so I don't feel so bad!)
    Tim

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    Zam - he recently went to see Celine Dion


    and chris de burgh
    Last edited by enc; 05-20-2016 at 08:27 PM.
    'No longer are the pleasures of Home Movie Making limited to those with ample funds. Now the man and woman of moderate means can join the sport'..... Kodak catalogue 1933

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Surrey, UK
    Posts
    10,847
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by enc View Post
    ]

    and chris de burgh
    Actually, I may have got Chris de Burgh mixed up with Celine Dion (an easy mistake to make) and may be doing Zam an injustice....
    Tim

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Help, Feedback!
    By BloodyHawkins in forum User Videos
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-02-2012, 12:11 PM
  2. Feedback...
    By Matt_Reynolds in forum User Videos
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-19-2010, 12:54 PM
  3. Help need feedback (:
    By Zezzuan in forum User Videos
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-23-2010, 02:58 PM
  4. Pop vid - WIP - feedback pls.
    By Mark W in forum User Videos
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-26-2009, 04:16 PM
  5. Looking for some feedback
    By 72Devilz in forum User Videos
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-12-2009, 11:46 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •