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Thread: What do you think of this one minute teaser?

  1. #1

    Default What do you think of this one minute teaser?

    This is a 1 minute teaser. What do you think? It is unfinished so looking for feedback to complete.

    https://vimeo.com/paulrwalker/review...401/91ae9ff515

    Will re-password it again after a couple of days but would appreciate your thoughts.
    "80% of success is turning up" - Woody Allen

  2. #2
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    This could be good. I'm looking forward to the documentary, but I think the trailer doesn't sell it anywhere near enough.

    Firstly, I liked the intro, you create a bit of intrigue/mystery/suspense - what's the film going to be about?

    Then it's explained and my reaction is "Oh, that's interesting".

    But after that it's just a collection of shots of either disabled people being helped or chatting or riding bikes (where it's not at all obvious that they are disabled - which resumably is the point). This is fine but without any development, even at 30 seconds it seems too long. My initial reaction changed "OK, all well and good, but there doesn't seem to be much to say about it".

    In other words, having caught my interest, it didn't leave me wanting more - surely the point of the video.

    So, unless you've got some good sound bites, I'd cut the length. I'd even cut the length of the good shots. For example the shot of the girl laughing at 0:26 goes on just too long - it feels like it's become forced.

    Rearrange the shots. The biker falling off/being helped off as the second shot is very negative. I saw it (first time) as a poor shot of someone falling off a bike - like it was meant to be funny but failed (obviously this doesn't really work until we have more context). The first shot after the intriguing intro is unclear. Until we know the context, we do not know this is a wheelchair. It might just as easily be some sort of weird contraption that people race.

    I'd suggest you replace this. Go straight into context. Show the shot of the guys in wheelchairs (the one at 0:20). That way, having been teased, we go BOOM into context. Now you can show the other shots and they become far more meaningful.

    If you had some interview snippets that could help. Otherwise keep it short and sweet. Possible end with the shot of the wheelchair on the back of the bike (especially if the full clip continues to pan around following the shot).

    Oh, the music was appropriate apart from it had some spoken bit which I found confusing - especially the first time it appeared as I though it was some narration mixed too low.

    Just my opinion. Probably not worth much. That's why it's given freely

    (and I really am looking forward to the film proper)
    Tim

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    This could be good. I'm looking forward to the documentary, but I think the trailer doesn't sell it anywhere near enough...

    Oh, the music was appropriate apart from it had some spoken bit which I found confusing - especially the first time it appeared as I though it was some narration mixed too low.

    ...

    (and I really am looking forward to the film proper)
    Great feedback, thanks for that. I need to add one element to the beginning which says 'teaser' and not a trailer. Definitely need to hack at it some more. The trailer is going to follow so also need something to indicate there will be a trailer following-up.

    Incidentally, the music costs $400 USD so that's why there are words under it which are a sort of 'watermark' until I buy. Want to think about it before contemplating buying!
    "80% of success is turning up" - Woody Allen

  4. #4

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    I agree with Tim. It's cool in the beginning but could be cut down at least from the half on.

  5. #5

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    Interesting. What about the dramatic contrast? Do you think it is too jarring and over the top?
    "80% of success is turning up" - Woody Allen

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    Quote Originally Posted by gorillaonabike View Post
    Interesting. What about the dramatic contrast? Do you think it is too jarring and over the top?
    Not enough, in my opinion. The first shot where we get a clue as to what the subject matter is, is the shot of the wheelchair on the back of the bike. BUT, as we have no context, it is not obvious that this is a wheelchair. it could be any contraption. This is why I suggest you should cut straight from the "mysterious" intro to a shot of the guys/girls in wheelchairs.
    Tim

  7. #7

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    I don't see why you wanted some sort of mystery at the beginning like it's fictional film. I think you were really after a juxtapositionof a negative image of being disabled and the positive image of what they do. This should only last a few seconds at the start 10 seconds max before you go into the action. Then bang, lots of fast cuts, fast action intercut with the human side of it interlaced. This is kind of what you did but it didn't quite get there. This is mostly because you hold onto the shots too long. Show they are in a wheelchair first, then that they ride motorbikes, how fun it is etc.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight Blue View Post
    I don't see why you wanted some sort of mystery at the beginning like it's fictional film.
    It's 'horror' as what happened to them was horrific. Bizarrely, U-25s quite like it which I thought they would but need to think about it.

    If anything, I think it's missing a link between the first and second parts plus tightening the shots a little on the second part.
    "80% of success is turning up" - Woody Allen

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    I thought it was well-filmed and I enjoyed watching it

    i didn't find the shots too long

    the only problem for me is that your trailer seems to tell the whole story - this may be why Tim said it didn't leave him wanting more - by the end of the trailer I learned that a group of people with disabilities took the bull by the horns and eventually prevailed - I think the trailer needs to leave viewers with a question mark - will they prevail over adversity? It should be 50/50 in the viewer's mind as to whether the cast members will succeed or fail

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by zamiotana View Post
    I thought it was well-filmed and I enjoyed watching it

    i didn't find the shots too long

    the only problem for me is that your trailer seems to tell the whole story - this may be why Tim said it didn't leave him wanting more - by the end of the trailer I learned that a group of people with disabilities took the bull by the horns and eventually prevailed - I think the trailer needs to leave viewers with a question mark - will they prevail over adversity? It should be 50/50 in the viewer's mind as to whether the cast members will succeed or fail
    Thanks, extremely useful - very good point. Need to indicate the story goes further - to a more dangerous place. That's an excellent point.

    Am comfortable the timing is generally OK although maybe a flash frame here or there would be good and maybe a quick cut here or there. May also cut it down a little more.

    So will work it as follows:

    - Add the element you suggested. The 'wanting more' part - the 50 / 50. I think everyone is alluding to this and it's a very simple, quick change.
    - Create more continuity and create more of a bridge between the first and second elements. Maybe with sound.
    - Will cut the visuals down just a little.
    "80% of success is turning up" - Woody Allen

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