I think the ending (up to 22:07) is perfect. We get both a philosophical and a personal opinion. Hearing (and seeing) how the trip has affected you makes the film so much more interesting than a "detached" narration.
Overall I think this was an ambitious edit. What worked best for me was that this was (mainly) a personal account, rather than a list of textbook facts and figures. By far the best pieces to camera were where you were walking and talking into it. Partially this is because we see your expressions more clearly, partly it's because your face is kept fairly steady n the frame but mostly, i suspect, because you wre close to the mic so the audio was much easier to hear. Contrast this with the "story" you refer to and even the message at the start - there may be less background noise but the room noise (echo/reverb) make your voice cut through less.
i liked the pace of the film, and the feeling that we were on a journey. I also liked the fact that it really felt like you were in among the action as opposed to just being an observer.
Sure the technicalities can all be improved, but that can be learned. What's less easy to learn is the ability to put an engaging story together and I think you have achieved that. Well done. I look forward to another film from you.