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Thread: Firefighters Under Occupation, my film about Palestinian firefighter

  1. #1

    Default Firefighters Under Occupation, my film about Palestinian firefighter

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX7luNEqWls

    I shot this in Feb this year. What do you think? Be honest.

  2. #2

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    I was just about to post the short film I made about Firefighters from WestBank but realised I already posted it a while back.

    Any thoughts?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by porkypara View Post
    I was just about to post the short film I made about Firefighters from WestBank but realised I already posted it a while back.
    And none of us had commented. How rude of us.

    OK, honest truth, there are two films vying for attention here.
    One is the political message and one is the footage of training with the Scottish Fire Brigade.

    No-one is going to read just "the message" so you put in plenty of action stuff. OK in theory, but to my mind it wasn't executed well.

    Nearly two minutes of text commentary and stills, is unlikely to get anyone's attention and certainly won't keep it. If I want to read about something I've got newspapers and the internet. It's very tiring to read lots of moving blocks of text. Please get someone to do a voiceover. Or better still use snippets of interviews.
    Furthermore the text comes over as very one sided (no matter how true it is) and thus as propaganda. There's nothing necessarily wrong in this but it very much detracts from the heroism of the firefighters (which is, presumably, what you are trying to get across).

    Look at any films of (for example) medics or journalists working in war zones. The films generally avoid touching on the rights and wrongs of the war (ie they don't take sides) but use the general brutality of the conditions of the war to emphasise the odeals these people go through to perform their great work.(Take a look at some of Midnight Blue's work in the areas of propaganda. He's quite good at making propaganda appear like a balanced documentary, by expressing an opinion - and thus leaving the viewer under on illusion where the film stands on an issue - but also including some opposing opinion)

    The cut to the fire training threw me - perhaps I'd missed some of the text (I admit to not reading it all) and I wondered why we'd suddenly jumped from Palestine to Scotland.

    Either of the two stories spoken by the Richard Gere lookalike starting at 5:37 would have made a far better beginning. Even though his story about the Palestinians helping the Israeli fire service is told from a third person's perspective, it is immensely more powerful than the text version at the start of the film. Indeed his interview should quite probably be the glue that holds the whole film together.

    This is a worthy and worthwhile film, but I feel it could have been structured better and the text replaced.
    Tim

  4. #4

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    Thanks for taking the time give me such detailed feedback.

    Looking at it again after reading your comments I agree about the start.

    The Richard Gear lookalike would be very flattered with the comparison.



    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    And none of us had commented. How rude of us.

    OK, honest truth, there are two films vying for attention here.
    One is the political message and one is the footage of training with the Scottish Fire Brigade.

    No-one is going to read just "the message" so you put in plenty of action stuff. OK in theory, but to my mind it wasn't executed well.

    Nearly two minutes of text commentary and stills, is unlikely to get anyone's attention and certainly won't keep it. If I want to read about something I've got newspapers and the internet. It's very tiring to read lots of moving blocks of text. Please get someone to do a voiceover. Or better still use snippets of interviews.
    Furthermore the text comes over as very one sided (no matter how true it is) and thus as propaganda. There's nothing necessarily wrong in this but it very much detracts from the heroism of the firefighters (which is, presumably, what you are trying to get across).

    Look at any films of (for example) medics or journalists working in war zones. The films generally avoid touching on the rights and wrongs of the war (ie they don't take sides) but use the general brutality of the conditions of the war to emphasise the odeals these people go through to perform their great work.(Take a look at some of Midnight Blue's work in the areas of propaganda. He's quite good at making propaganda appear like a balanced documentary, by expressing an opinion - and thus leaving the viewer under on illusion where the film stands on an issue - but also including some opposing opinion)

    The cut to the fire training threw me - perhaps I'd missed some of the text (I admit to not reading it all) and I wondered why we'd suddenly jumped from Palestine to Scotland.

    Either of the two stories spoken by the Richard Gere lookalike starting at 5:37 would have made a far better beginning. Even though his story about the Palestinians helping the Israeli fire service is told from a third person's perspective, it is immensely more powerful than the text version at the start of the film. Indeed his interview should quite probably be the glue that holds the whole film together.

    This is a worthy and worthwhile film, but I feel it could have been structured better and the text replaced.

  5. #5

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    Cut it down, add voiceover, get rid of as many stills as possible.

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