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Thread: Episode 1 of Timber Parade

  1. Default Episode 1 of Timber Parade

    Hi all, just posted the first episode of a new sketch comedy series I'm starting. I'd love to hear thoughts.



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdGE...rXHHKRe16-Hjkb
    Last edited by jamiefranz; 09-25-2014 at 03:17 PM.

  2. #2

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    I watched it, but it did not make me laugh or smile. It felt a bit long. I got bored towards the end.
    I may have enjoyed it without any speech or vocal sounds from the Clowns. It may have been more entertaining to see them use mime to put the story across.

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    Not my type of humour either. I don't know whether people 20-30 years my junior find this funny or not so I'll just assume some do and it would therefore be inappropriate of me to comment on the content. I did like the graphics for the text and the "pow!" callouts. My only constructive comments would be to suggest you watch the lighting - the shadows in the settee scene were rather distracting.
    Tim

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    Likewise I didn't see anything funny. sorry.

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    I didn't see any humour but it reminded me of the scene in Brazil where the woman says "my complication had a complication" which also wasn't funny but definitely sticks with you

    in 1981 I went into a fast food in London where (unbelievably) there are signs telling you that you can only sit down for 30 minutes - anyway my friend Ken and I sat and started choking our food down when one of the employees began harassing the older overly-painted hooker-lady at the table next to us to get her to leave because her 30 minutes were up - as she was being escorted out she turned to us and said "remember Constance"

    i remember Constance - I am guessing that was her name

    bloody hell - 30 minutes??? - move to Canada and f$&@ that noise

    Although you will be subjected to bad tv shows for eternity

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    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    Not my type of humour either. I don't know whether people 20-30 years my junior find this funny or not so I'll just assume some do and it would therefore be inappropriate of me to comment on the content. I did like the graphics for the text and the "pow!" callouts. My only constructive comments would be to suggest you watch the lighting - the shadows in the settee scene were rather distracting.
    Thanks for all the feedback so far everyone. I'm starting to create part 2 and although I had an original draft I think it's going to be scrapped. I think we've defined our characters a bit more and has taken a slightly different turn than I originally intended. That said, having seen the first part, suggestions on how to make it more humourous to you? Or general suggestions on what you would like to see in part 2?

    Are you referencing the last scene when you say: "settee scene"?
    Last edited by jamiefranz; 09-26-2014 at 08:54 AM.

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    That was considered for the two at the home - might be good idea to go back to that idea. Looking to spoof the superhero genre with an 80s style to it. Any other thoughts on ways to make it more entertaining/humorous?

    Did you see the second part of the episode as well - the online dating bit?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiefranz View Post
    Are you referencing the last scene when you say: "settee scene"?
    No. 3:24-4:58. Shadown on the venetian bling in particular.
    Tim

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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiefranz View Post
    .....having seen the first part, suggestions on how to make it more humourous to you?
    OK, I'm really not sure how you'd go about increasing the humour, since frankly I didn't see any at all. There wasn't a single line or action that I found funny, and believe me, I usually have a wicked sense of humour.

    It was all too forced and cliché for me. Perhaps it's the whole clown thing that just doesn't amuse me, so for those that are amused by this sort of thing (and I'm sure there must be some) perhaps it's already humorous enough. I don't think there's anything you could do with these characters that would make it funny for me. Sorry.

    The whole problem of clowns is that you're expecting them to be funny, you know they 'should' be funny, but somehow they rarely are.

    What age group or demographic are you aiming this at?

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    Quote Originally Posted by David Partington View Post
    OK, I'm really not sure how you'd go about increasing the humour, since frankly I didn't see any at all. There wasn't a single line or action that I found funny, and believe me, I usually have a wicked sense of humour.

    It was all too forced and cliché for me. Perhaps it's the whole clown thing that just doesn't amuse me, so for those that are amused by this sort of thing (and I'm sure there must be some) perhaps it's already humorous enough. I don't think there's anything you could do with these characters that would make it funny for me. Sorry.

    The whole problem of clowns is that you're expecting them to be funny, you know they 'should' be funny, but somehow they rarely are.

    What age group or demographic are you aiming this at?
    Towards a 25-35 age range is the intention.

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