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Thread: Marcus & Lucas in 'The Hole of Horcum'

  1. Default Marcus & Lucas in 'The Hole of Horcum'

    This is our latest short. It's a simple comedy featuring 2 loveable but not very bright characters who chat random things. We hope to continue this as a web series following the characters at different locations around Britain. Wind got the better of us towards the end of the filming and no matter what we tried to block it, mother nature just wouldn't be beaten. Anyway, I know your comments will be honest and I look forward to hearing them.

  2. #2


    I found some aspects very favourable. Both actors have clear voices and able to put across a story, an idea, a line.
    The semi-scripted improvational dialogue is a good vehicle to project an actor's talents. But that benefit becomes limited if the final dialogue is poor. I felt there were instances where the humour trailed off too quickly or too shallow.
    For example, I expected some more build and humour up after the "pizza/piece of" misunderstanding occurs; and thought how a pro script writer might have added a couple of extra lines. When the 'TRex' gag started, I expected one actor to mention an old Rock band.
    I think the opening titles (and definately the ending titles) should be shortened.

    I may look forward to the OP's next clip as these two 'characters' are slightly appealing. But I am hoping the script is better and we get more more camera angles.
    Well done.
    Last edited by TimAndrews; 02-23-2014 at 07:26 PM. Reason: typo

  3. Default

    Thankyou Tim,
    I am working hard to make the script for the next episodemuch stronger and quicker. Time was against us on the day hence the lack ofcamera angles, we just didn’t have the time and the wind picked up making ourdecision to cut short the script.
    I will certainly try and build on what you said for the nextepisode.

  4. #4
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    Feb 2006
    Surrey, UK
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    I enjoyed it but agree with Tim's comments. I thought the script was stronger towards the beginning. Very clear elements of Smith & Jones, although this can be traced back through Peter Cook & Dudley Moore and Tony Hancock & Sid James. But like those scripts absolutely every line has to have a purpose.I hope and expect this to improve with practice and I suspect generating lots of scripts will prove more beneficial than over-thinking them.

  5. #5


    A good job done by the lads doing their best but the weak script let them down a bit. I think if half the duration of the video it will make it easier to get a tighter script. I also feel you missed a trick with the location and the lack of seeing it. I know the area, I've filmed it myself and know it's a great spot, if you don't show more of where they are they may as well be in a pub. Showing a cut away while they having their conversation is ok or it could act as pause or change in time etc.

    The choice of camera angle seemed a little odd me. It would have made a good establishing shot but once they get into the conversation you should get in closer like the shot around two mins but then around 2:09 you chose to fade back to the long shot. I suspect shooting with one camera is the reason for this.

    Not a bad effort though and I think it has legs given a stronger script.

  6. Default

    Thanks Tim, Smith and Jones were very much an inspiration actually. I do intend to make the script stronger, Iíve spent all day at work thinking up gags and punchlines etc, so hopefully, we can pick out the ones that will work best.
    Blue, thankyou too and you are quite correct that we filmed with just the one camera. I do have 2 other cameras but they are only Canon Legria handycams. I considered using all three but having the footage of those two seemed too match of a mismatch to my main camera, the Canon XF100, so I chose just the one and opted for better quality (plus the fact that the XF has microphone output capabilities whereas the Legrias do not).

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