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Thread: Crime Detecting Agency - Short Comedy Film (2014)

  1. #1

    Default Crime Detecting Agency - Short Comedy Film (2014)

    Hey guys

    I always love posting my latest projects on this site because I always get great feedback. So on that note I bring you my latest short film made for www.reed.co.uk/film competition themed 'Family Business'. The film had to be under 3mins and family friendly. That's it, any genre, go nuts.

    Synopsis: Two detective brothers roam the neighbourhood solving petty crimes and keeping everything in order.


    Let me know what you think

    Cal

  2. #2
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    Errr... I'm afraid that the plot is too weak.

    The idea of a "small crimes detecting agency" is cool, I like the way that the actors don't "ham" it up but... it's a bit ponderous and lacks humour.

    Technically fine but It needs a lot of sharpening. The pace is too slow and there's not enough content. Try editing it down by a third.

    But... You're out there making a movie, which is 100% more than a lot of people do!

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    I liked the punchline. Although I watched to the end, I wouldn't have done if I didn't "know" you. I agree it would benefit from being edited down further.

    I found the music really distracting (to the point that it's all I could hear and kept hoping it would stop). Do you need it throughout?

  4. #4

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    The audio level is a bit low and it's a bit shaky without need. It would profit from being cut down to increase the pace.

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    While all the criticisms are valid, I think I should point out a few "positives" before you throw away your camera and jump off a cliff.

    The actors are good and have a presence. They just need to sharpen up a bit, be a bit quicker in their delivery and in their movements. Your duo have charisma and charm so you don't have to work on that, what they need is a character. By that I mean that they are a bit two dimensional, a bit of a stereotype rather than someone who could exist. If you have an implausible situation and unbelievable characters, the audience has to make two leaps of faith.

    The technical side was good. I didn't have a problem with the recorded speech and understood it perfectly (but I have to agree with Marc, the music got a bit annoying). Nice framing, well illuminated and I really like the fact that you didn't try to spice it up by adding unnecessary camera movements. Good decision!

    Spend more time on the script and more time rehearsing to get the speed up and I think the series could have wings.

  6. #6

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    Thanks a lot guys, I appreciate the thoughts.

    Would you recommend editing out certain lines or simply trimming each bit of dialogue to speed the piece up?

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by ctbullet View Post
    Thanks a lot guys, I appreciate the thoughts.

    Would you recommend editing out certain lines or simply trimming each bit of dialogue to speed the piece up?
    It's a good concept, funny punchline - well done at all of that.

    But don't trim - hack away. Needs big chunks taken out of the middle. You could lose 30 seconds without any issues and this would be a vast improvement. The issue is the middle part made me want to turn off because it is soooooo ponderous. If you turn it into something snappy, you will have a really good little short.
    Last edited by gorillaonabike; 01-22-2014 at 06:20 PM.
    "80% of success is turning up" - Woody Allen

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    I thoroughly enjoyed it, but with a serious edit it could be very good.
    Every line should either move the plot along or deliver a screamingly funny joke.
    For example, you could cut from 0:53 to 1:22. It would be immediately understandable to the audience what was going on. It would add pace and you would lose only the weakest joke in the script.
    Tim

  9. #9

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    Thanks very much guys. I bare that in mind next time I'm editing.

    The film has received over 300 hits in 24 hours so someone must like it.

    Thanks again for watching and sharing. All the best

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