2nd clip removed
2nd clip removed
Last edited by TimStannard; 12-31-2013 at 10:59 PM.
I've removed the second clip because (a) we request one video per thread in this section so comments don't become confusing and (b) the second one wasn't posted for comment and didn't require any (if was better suited to teh "just for Fun" section)
As for the Anti-Smoking film, I think the text could be quite a bit smaller - having it overflowing the screen and moving around makes it quite difficult to take in. Smaller and animated may OK.
And it finished so abruptly part way through a bar. If that tied in with a sudden visual punctuation that might work but as it stands it just feels like it hasn't been put together with any thought.
(BTW a smoker here in the UK will be spending many times what US smokers spend)
I'm not really sure what you're trying to achieve with this - whoever your target audience is, I can't imagine this is telling them something they don't already know, and it's not really doing it in a "shock" tactics way.
It's just some shots of someone smoking (liked the "grey" desaturated look BTW) but not looking particularly anti-social, nor as if they are suffering. They just look like a normal sultry teenager - a look to whick most teenagers aspire at some stage so I'm not sure it sends out the message you want to send out.
I remember an article about the picture on non-smoking signs actually activating a smokers desire for a cigarette. I think it's the same with your visuals. They simply to not display any bad side of smoking.
I agree with Ray. I quit 3 weeks ago (well move to e-cigs) and the site of seeing anyone smoking is a fecking nightmare for me.
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My opinions are just that . . . Mine. It's not personal, but is based on my emotional and professional reaction to requested critique. If you choose to ignore constructive comments, I'll just assume you're a vanity poster and not posting to improve your filming and editing skills.
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Why did you make this video? Sit in front of a camera and tell the story. I think that will work.