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Thread: Quick critique on this?

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Quick critique on this?

    Could anyone take the time to critique this for me?

    It's for a festival committee to use as a submission for grants etc, so I made it short and snappy, however I feel a bit uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's the changes in light, or the sequence?

    It doesn't have to be super professional or anything, but I feel some of you may be able to suggest improvements.

    It's made up of stills from film, film, and at least 3 other peoples still-shots.

    Last edited by Stripe; 09-25-2013 at 03:10 PM.

  2. #2

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    Maybe worth considering:
    0:14 The big yellow picture was very startlingly bright and sudden (compared with the previous image).
    0:18 Two pics of cactus. Not much different. Maybe only needed.
    0:22 Do I want to see the flashes go off?
    0:42 Model house scene. Not long enough to see what the image was of.
    0:59 The 2 images of the flowers appeared barely in focus.

  3. #3

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    The opening shot isn't a very good angle but I think if you start the motion slow then speed it up, then freeze on the bee, it would look better. Either that or you could add an increasing blur as you get closer to the bee and then a fast "blur out" into the next shot. There is no such thing as a blur out is there ! I suppose I meant to say from a blur to sharp image.

    Some of the cutting to the beat seems off. I would have graded some of the images to correct white balance on those needed and make some pop a little more with more contrast etc.

    I'm not so worried about what the images are of or the order they are in, I don't think that's important with a piece like this.

  4. #4
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    One thing I noticed from the very beginning was that I expected short video clips instead of stills. Took me couple of frames to notice what it was. Very often when people are reviewing or making a video blog of festivals they have similiar fast cuts, but they all are video clips so you can just glimpse movement before it changes. One example that comes to mind is the oh so many videos that give you compilation of different costumes on comiccon, cosplay related events etc.

    You also seem to have a lot of material to choose from, but perhaps the video could have been one "segment" shorter. At around one minute I thought I had already gotten pretty good idea of what kind of event we're talking about and whether it is for me or not. In that sense the next 15 seconds didn't feel all that necessary and the credits could have rolled earlier.

    This is all just based on a gut feeling, creating commercials is not my strong suite.

  5. #5
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    Thanks everyone, you backed up a lot of my niggles and offered some other good suggestions. I'm going to go try them all.

    Yes SS, I also wanted to cut down one segment, more-so to also cut out substandard shots, but being greedy, I wanted all of the interchange pieces. But now I'm off to get the axe...
    Last edited by Stripe; 09-26-2013 at 01:21 AM.

  6. #6

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    THIS is what I meant about the blur in & out transition.

  7. #7
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    Wow thanks for taking the effort MB.

    I tried this with the Gaussian Blur, and it was ok, but I like the way you bring the next image in.

    The unfortunate part is that the aim of that edit was to focus on the smile of the bee and set a happy mood, and although the blur works, it takes the smile away, which leaves me with a grubby looking shot, which it was all along (polishing turds) :(

    I've just finished scrapping the start for something else a lot cleaner, it 'ups' the presentation almost straight away.

    I'm enjoying being ruthless with my editing, it's a good feeling to have too much footage for a change

    TIM: Nice trick with removing the flash too, only deleted 5 frames, hardly noticable. I didn't think it would work.

  8. #8
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    This is the final version - thanks for all your comments, I'm so much happier with it now


  9. #9

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    I am amazed at how much better it looks. And even after watching it twice (full screen), I find myself unable to find any pedantic or hugely insignificant points to grumble about.
    I liked the rhythm of the cuts. I felt I got just the right amount of time for my eyes/brain to interpret each image. Although the clip is short (01:16), it gives alot of information. Perhaps that is an advantage of using static images interlaced with video.

  10. #10
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    I iked the original opening! But this is tons better so well done for taking the advice.
    My only criticisms are the harsh changes in audio (especially at 0:40). If you can't clean it up, consider fading the harsh sound in under the music (just sample a bit of noise from the rest of the take if there's someone talking immediately before and after that you need to cut out) and out again. I didn't like the backward/forward movement at 0:26 - I don't see that it added anything to the vid. Finally I'd have liked to have known who it was who thought it was fantastic to be back in Blackbutt.
    Tim

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