Something is missing for me in the scenes of the first as well as the second bar. I can not exactly name it. Maybe faster cuts or a more interesting perspective e.g. from top would do the job. What I liked was the perspective from behind the bar at 03:33. Furthermore seemed the first bar to be a bit empty. Zooming in might have hidden that.
The video could profit from a little story. So far you are just visiting two bars. That's a bit boring for me.
The clip contains a collection of underexposed scenes, overexposed scenes and out of focus scenes. The editor has chosen to add lots of cuts and sfx; perhaps in an attempt to make it look better. That seemed to work (for me) for just over 1 minite. But then, I became more concious that the editor did not actually have enough different shots (as mentioned by XXXRay).
I would be inclined to examine whether some of the shots could be enhanced by considering the brighness/hue/saturation. And I might consider removing some of the worst scenes (e.g the blurry man at 03:0.
Despite the chaos, I thought the sfx were quite nice. It took my mind from wondering why anyone wears sunglasses at night, and whether the camera operator and editor might have done the same thing.
I look forward to seeing future projects, and am hoping my comments will encourage more care when filming.
In addition to what has already been said the camera operator seems to like chopping off the head of the main talent, a lot.
Midnight Blue Productions M.M.Inst.V.