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Thread: My time travel short film

  1. Default My time travel short film

    This is a short film which I have created for a school course, please give feedback as it helps me to improve in the future.

    Youtube link
    The Waters Echo - A2 Media Short Film by Harry Cross and Joe Lombardi - YouTube

  2. #2
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    Terrific, Harry. You'll have to have done abysmally on the rest of your A level if you're to avoid an A*.

    You included so many things which were clearly designed to get you the extra mark here and there, but managed to fit them in without it seeming contrived.

    I found the opening a little "plastic", especally when we see you standing still and looking blank, but later we realise why this has to be - perhaps you could have given the character something else to do (scrabble around for a stick to throw for the dog, perhaps) which would leave him in a static position and allow you to show the later "you" and friend in the same shot.

    Once we got over that initial hurdle, I felt drawn towards the characters and I was genuinely interested in how they would deal with the situation. It's very easy in action, hhooror and sci fi to forget that no matter how good the plot is, you need to involve the audience in your characters if you are to engage the audience, so a big plus for this.

    There were some great shots here - (one of my reasons for the earlier comment about including things for extra marks) - I particularly liked 1:38-1:34 (although I didn't like him silhouetted against the bland sky), 4:17-4:22 and 5:09-5:19.
    This last one is worth special consideration. I don't know if this was intentional or not, but by showing Joe larger in the frame, this apparently emphasises the passing of the "switch" to Joe and henec the feeling that at that point in the film, control has been passed to him, although the following shot seems to "undo" that, thus making me think I read too much into it.

    Yet among these shots we have a real howler 5:32. you must have knicked yourself when you got back and saw that. And the shot along the road which follows isn't much better.

    The only other "amatuerville" thing that jumped out at me was the wind noise in some of the shots. Not dreadful, but distracting.

    The dialogue was good. The film was well acted. An intriguing plot, although the key point (that he killed himself) was never going to be a twist after we know that he travels in time. Excellent use of music and foley.

    I look forward to seeing more of your work.

    EDIT: Just adding - I thought that the knocking into the water was really well done. You went the extra mile to get that looking right.
    Last edited by TimStannard; 03-09-2013 at 10:30 PM.
    Tim

  3. Default

    Hi Tim.
    Thanks for the feedback, it means a lot!

    However the wind noise was actually added deliberately. None of the original sound recorded by the camera has been used at all, in fact all of the dialogue and background noise heard throughout the entire film has been added during post production (ADR for the dialogue). After all of the dialogue had been replaced, the background had no noise at all and was completely silent, so I added the wind noise to make the scene feel more natural. Does it really seem amateur? I added the noise with the intention of making the scene feel more professional haha (guess that may have back-fired), oh well.

  4. #4

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    Great job guys.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Cross View Post
    so I added the wind noise to make the scene feel more natural.
    I did wonder at (only a few) times whether you'd dubbed the audio, but the wind noise made me think you hadn't! This indicates what a good job you'd done. I totally agree with the idea of adding a bit of wind audio, but as I'm sure you're aware, there's a differece between a recording of wind and the sound of wind directly on/across the mic. The latter is distracting because it sounds like it's comming directly from the speakers - it's too "forward" in the audio field. I don't know if that's technically correct - just my opinion.
    Last edited by TimStannard; 03-10-2013 at 12:12 PM.
    Tim

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    too "forward" in the audio field.
    I suspect, that unlike a single mic, wind is generally heard by 2 ears. The stereo effect and randomised noise all occur whilst the brain attempts to localise the source. If so, then one may always be advised to use stereo samples.

  7. #7

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    Well done! This must have been a really challenging film to make. A simple idea, but difficult to produce well and be convincing. But you have succeeded on nearly every level.

    Looking forward to seeing more of your work.

    Paul

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    Thanks for the feedback so far everyone, I appreciate it a lot.

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    the movie was filmed very well -- lots of nice shots

    if you are going to do this type of movie you need a twist at the end

  10. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by zamiotana View Post
    the movie was filmed very well -- lots of nice shots

    if you are going to do this type of movie you need a twist at the end
    Indeed, I admit the 'twist' was obvious too early into the film.

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