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Thread: An Assassin Called Jackson

  1. Default An Assassin Called Jackson

    Heya Everyone!


    I would like to share with you all my new YouTube video called "An Assassin Called Jackson".





    Let me know what you think and please subscribe if you like - more coming soon!


    Cheerz,
    Ruan Lotter


    twitter: @ruanlotter
    youtube: Tunnelvizion TV - YouTube
    facebook: Tunnelvizion TV | Facebook

  2. #2
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    I think it was a clever idea, but for some reason it failed to come off.

    Just to make it clear what I thought I was watching - we hear the voice of the assassin and we believe we are watching the assassin but te twist is we are watching the target.

    Why did it fail?

    Here are a couple of possibilities:
    When I first saw the body fall onto the bed, I wasn't sure it was the same person as we'd been seeing - in fact I had to look back to see. Therefore it iost all impact. If you'd shown the target's face as he lands on the bed this would have eliminated any doubt.

    The second reason is it's not clear whether this is meant to be sinister or humorous. I wasn't sure what frame of mind I was meant to be in whilst watching. I think that come sdown to the voice. It came over as a "put on" accent, but not heavily enough "put on" as to be obviously so and thus humorous. If, on the other hand, it was meant to be taken seriously, it is basically wrong. The dialogue itself is fine, but the voice really needs to be matter of fact. Think of all the films with hired killers. They always discuss their killings in a cold, matter of fact way - they disengage from the horror of what they do. this makes them both more believeable and more sinister. This voice was far too dramatic for that.

    I thought the selection of shots was excellent (with the exception of the tarhet falling on the bed) as was the filming and editing, so technically I couldn't fault it. Most shots were "standard fare" - almost cliché but it's no bad thing to try to mimic the masters.

    Overall I thought it was very well done, and if it wasnt for the slight confusion of the man falling on the bed, I'd be highly recommending you re-dubbed the voicover with something more zany or something more believable to make a truly excellent short.
    Tim

  3. Default

    Thanks for the comment!! Really helpful - Will def consider your changes for future videos.

    Kind regards,
    Ruan

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree with Tim that a the target falls on the bed we should have seen his face but only because it would have been more dramatic not that I was at all unsure as to who it was. An even better shot would have been, seeing the target fall on the bed from behind ie camera at the far side of the bed (similar to the shot at 0:50) then a focus pull through the window to the guy with the rifle. OR may be the focus pull you had at 1:01 could have started on the hit man.

    I don't agree that the VO is wasn't right. I thought it was just right. To my ear he sounded like a seasoned hit man, being matter of fact about what he does. How old was the guy that did it ?

    I thought this was a well executed piece. My only criticism is that it was all a bit formulaic, example starting with the shot of the alarm clock, then the man looking at himself in the mirror, the only shot we didn't get was the close up of the coffee cup being put down on the table.

    It's very easy for me to say these things after the fact and that shouldn't take anything away from what is a cleaver and well executed piece.

    Well done.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight Blue View Post
    I don't agree that the VO is wasn't right. I thought it was just right. To my ear he sounded like a seasoned hit man, being matter of fact about what he does. How old was the guy that did it ?
    And therein lies the impossibility of being all things to all people
    Great alternative take, Midnight!
    Tim

  6. #6

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    And therein lies the impossibility of being all things to all people
    So true Tim.

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