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Thread: Experimental Time Travel Short Film

  1. #1

    Default Experimental Time Travel Short Film

    This is an experimental film I finished a couple weeks ago. The story is inspired by Alan Lightman's "Einstein's Dreams"
    A Rivulet in Time - YouTube

    I hope you enjoy and as always, critiques are welcome!
    Thank you

  2. #2


    I found it refreshingly original, I didn't like the Foley when the people time jumped. Like the guy and child laughing they are to near in the mix, lower the volume and add some reverb. The other issue is the background people should be constant before and after the jumps. Either use a green screen to create the effect or get people to stand still. The effect it's self worked well.

    I liked the part where the guy sees the girls future and then when he meets up with the other time traveller they see a blank slat.

    You filmed it nicely so it looks good and the sound track worked well. I think this was an idea that wasn't fully developed to create a classic narrative, which is a shame as it could have given an interesting story.

    Good job, mostly.

  3. #3


    Nice piece of work, great concept (I don't know if you stole the idea from Alan Lightman's "Einstein's Dreams"), but yeah it could be developed further if it's an original concept.

    I got confused, I thought the two guys were the same character - or did they just look similar? I couldn't understand what happened for the scan to be different (if they were the same people). If Midnight is correct, then it makes sense.

    The music was great just a bit too 'bursty' in places.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Surrey, UK
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    I thought this was a good concept, well acted and filmed. Funniliy enough I didn't find the changing background during the time slip a distraction - probably as I was engrossed in what was happening.

    The only bad point for me was the text on the screen and I had three issues with that.
    1. I thought the opening text was too long, too wordy. This is much more of a personal thing than the following points. I hated the long drawn out text at the beginning of Star Wars, yet plenty of people loved that so it's more a matter of taste.
    2. The text did not contrast enough with the background - or more accurately it did, then it didn't depending on the scene behind it. This is a distraction. If you must use text, make it easy peasy for your viewers to read it.
    3. You then put yet more text in the film during the story. It appeared in hidden colours at the top and I nearly missed it.

    All in all I'd really rather you found a way to tell the story wthout resorting to text. I'm all in favour of a nice profound one- or two-line quote at the beginning, but if I wanted to read the text I'd go to Amazon and buy the book!

    Another problem with text in film, which you probably haven't considered (and I would never have done without attending a film festival a week or so ago) is that should you ever put subtitles on, for showing in a foreign language, the screen gets rather messy!

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