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Thread: Shellshock - A film set in WW1

  1. #1

    Default Shellshock - A film set in WW1

    Hey there, we're a group of 14-15 year olds from Norway who's been making films for some time now, would be great to get some criticism on this piece we've been making the past few months.

    The backstory of the shortfilm is that its set at the battle of Somme, which raged during WW1. The main character suffers from shellshock after spending alot of time at the frontlines which affects his personality and his mind.

    I am aware of that some of the clips/Video FX's looks pretty cheesy and not that good (our budget was very low almost zero) , but we would love to get some nice and constructive feedback on it!

    HD is also available, though it wont effect the quality as much, seeing as our camera equipment is pretty bad at the moment

    Last edited by TypewriterProductions; 04-11-2012 at 06:49 PM.

  2. #2
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    The extremely long blacked out scenes took some getting used to. I can forgibe the actors their looks because of their age, but covering everyone with loads more dirt costs nothing. The out of sysnc TV effect was totally out of place in a film set 10 years before Baired demonstrated the use of TV for a moving image. The titles appeared a quarter of the way into the film and then proceeded to list loads of actors we've never heard of (big mistake in my opinion - give people credit by all means, but subtly at the end unless you have a big name or two).

    Dispite all this, and some rather dubious scenes (would a soldier really ignore a living enemy in the same shell hole?), it kept me enthralled and even moved me.

    Very well done.
    Tim

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    The extremely long blacked out scenes took some getting used to. I can forgibe the actors their looks because of their age, but covering everyone with loads more dirt costs nothing. The out of sysnc TV effect was totally out of place in a film set 10 years before Baired demonstrated the use of TV for a moving image. The titles appeared a quarter of the way into the film and then proceeded to list loads of actors we've never heard of (big mistake in my opinion - give people credit by all means, but subtly at the end unless you have a big name or two).

    Dispite all this, and some rather dubious scenes (would a soldier really ignore a living enemy in the same shell hole?), it kept me enthralled and even moved me.

    Very well done.
    Thanks you for the lovely criticism Tim, thats the kind of stuff we like to read! The TV effect (the best we could come up with with the programs we used for the editing) was simply in place to show the viewer when the character was suffering from flashbacks and mental breakdowns (some of the few symptoms for shellshock) The enemy sniper also thought the main character died from the grenade blast, though when I think of it we should have used scenes/edited it in a way to show it clearer, but once again, we really appreciate it!
    Last edited by TypewriterProductions; 04-11-2012 at 10:45 PM.

  4. #4

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    Ok guy's I hope you're sitting down when you read this. Firstly, I highly commend you for make a serious piece about a serious subject like this. All the "in front of camera" people did an excellent job. I did have a problem with the age not being right but understand this is your age, so you can't help that. If this is intended for YouTube viewing don't put titles after four mins into the movie and don't bother putting titles of people know one knows. If you want to give a credit to them do it all at the end.

    My two main problems was firstly the length of the fade to blacks was way way way way way toooooooo long. The second big issue is the use of the TV FX. This is not an MTV music video so the use of this effect was not right for this piece, it just serves to drag the viewer out of the moment in the movie and serves to remind us we are watching a video on YouTube.

    I hope you had permission to use the footage of the guns and other Foley sound, they fitted well with the rest of the piece but I think there was too much of it. The over all look of the piece was good along with the props and costumes so well done for that. The direction and camera work was quite good as was the sound editing although I did notice you were missing some ambient out door sounds in places. To say the piece is too long for the actual content is an understatement but in some places you did wind me into the action and made me feel I was there in the trenches, so you did do something right. The over all editing was cut together well apart from the fade to blacks BUT it needs some very serious trimming down to size.

    My comments are meant to help you improve and make your next piece even better than this was, I think you could take this piece back to the editing room and make it much better.

    Good luck.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight Blue View Post
    Ok guy's I hope you're sitting down when you read this. Firstly, I highly commend you for make a serious piece about a serious subject like this. All the "in front of camera" people did an excellent job. I did have a problem with the age not being right but understand this is your age, so you can't help that. If this is intended for YouTube viewing don't put titles after four mins into the movie and don't bother putting titles of people know one knows. If you want to give a credit to them do it all at the end.

    My two main problems was firstly the length of the fade to blacks was way way way way way toooooooo long. The second big issue is the use of the TV FX. This is not an MTV music video so the use of this effect was not right for this piece, it just serves to drag the viewer out of the moment in the movie and serves to remind us we are watching a video on YouTube.

    I hope you had permission to use the footage of the guns and other Foley sound, they fitted well with the rest of the piece but I think there was too much of it. The over all look of the piece was good along with the props and costumes so well done for that. The direction and camera work was quite good as was the sound editing although I did notice you were missing some ambient out door sounds in places. To say the piece is too long for the actual content is an understatement but in some places you did wind me into the action and made me feel I was there in the trenches, so you did do something right. The over all editing was cut together well apart from the fade to blacks BUT it needs some very serious trimming down to size.

    My comments are meant to help you improve and make your next piece even better than this was, I think you could take this piece back to the editing room and make it much better.

    Good luck.
    Thank you for the lovely and filling criticism, looks like you used alot of time on it! We gained alot of experience while making this movie, I will certainly consider the tips (especially the credits one) both of you gave us for future projects!
    It's really nice to hear that you felt you were there in some scenes, as we spent quite some time on making most of scenes right.

    100% of the custom material used has been used with permission from the authors (most of the sound is from a personal project im involved with, a game to be exact)
    Last edited by TypewriterProductions; 04-11-2012 at 10:54 PM.

  6. #6

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    For a group of youngsters its a good effort. The fade to black scenes were to long and to many and the clips to short.The FX's like you say looked cheesy probably better left out unless you can make it more authentic. The credits after the beginning, similar idea to the start of a James bond movie which is OK. I would say have a look at similar WW1 movies and get some ideas of dialog and transitions etc.
    Well done anyway and keep at it.

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