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Thread: Sci-Fi Action Series

  1. Default Sci-Fi Action Series

    I am in the process of creating a third part to my series and I would like any suggestion or critiques on my 2nd installment. Your time is greatly appreciated : 2XL: Rooftop Jazz - YouTube

  2. #2


    Good motion graphics but where's the narrative. We don't know anything about the characters or the story, as there is no story.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Surrey, UK
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    I'm with Midnight. I guess all the story is contained in the (rather small) text at the beginning.
    This is rather like computer games. You gat all the background in pages and pages of text (which you never bother to read) and then you get thrown into the action.
    But in a computer game you interact, so the action is enough.

    In a film the viewer is passive and you have to draw them in. If I want to be drawn into a story or understand a character by reading, I'll read a book (or, more frequently these days, an ebook). When i watch a film, I want the action on the screen to tell me the story and about the characters.

    But apart from all that i thought the look was very good and rather unusual.

  4. Default

    Thanks for the feedback. I also entirely agree with those critiques. However, I am not so much of a writer as I am an editor. I will find someone to write and narrate a good opening for the next installment.

    On a side note, I chose to make it without dialogue just because I don't believe that the actors involved can deliver the lines that I envision for this piece. I am currently in Thailand and it's really hard to find kids of this age group to really pull something off as demanding as this. I plan to move back to LA soon, so I figured it would be a good concept before I can remake it with decent actors.

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