Short ad draft needing criticism!

**NFox** · 11-01-2011, 09:37 PM

Right this is a draft of a quick ad, for a new web app, I am working on. Now this is pretty much at the starting stage, getting the timing sorted with the sound scape etc. As always looking for criticism but also some ideas really. The initial text that pops up on screen I really do not like and would love to know how you guys would try and approach it. Also with it as it is, do you get a sense of what the app is about? The aim is to get the message across and the client wanted the clash of calm sound with upbeat and exciting footage, was a bit weary of the idea at first but I have fallen to like it (or I have just got used to it)?!

Trying to keep it as short and clean as possible. Thanks in advance for your comments

**Midnight Blue** · 11-01-2011, 10:14 PM

My understanding of the advert is that it is a website to place videos you have shot at gigs.

**TimStannard** · 11-02-2011, 08:08 AM

Yet I thought it was an app to email/send via messages on mobie phones videos of gigs.

I'd suggest maybe you need someone videoing, then someone viewing the same footage - this should make it clearer.

**NFox** · 11-03-2011, 06:51 PM

Originally Posted by TimStannard

Yet I thought it was an app to email/send via messages on mobie phones videos of gigs.

I'd suggest maybe you need someone videoing, then someone viewing the same footage - this should make it clearer.

It is indeed lacking a bit of footage of someone shooting, there is the one shot 2nd from last but I think you are right it needs more of the message.

I have since revised the video and have got a much more consistent look and a much more simple clean ending. I think having the helpful steve logo as well as the url was too much so have just ran with the url. I am still struggling with the initial text. Anyone have some creative input to how I can get the text in but maybe a bit more interestingly? I'd be grateful to hear any more comments and ideas.

Thanks again for your time.

**TimStannard** · 11-03-2011, 07:00 PM

I think it's a mistake to drop the helpful Steve logo (assuming you mean the text at 0:16-0:20) having that there plus the good clear web address hammers the phrase/name home. I really don't think it's too much.
As for the text at the beghinning - I like the good clean font. The trend currently seems to be to have is skaning about (like in an earthquake) which would certainly be OK with such a clear font, but I find the straightforwardness of the message rather refreshingly simple.
EDIT: But please bear in ming I know sweet FA about graphics, marketing and presentation - I'm just speaking as a punter.

**NFox** · 11-04-2011, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by TimStannard

I think it's a mistake to drop the helpful Steve logo (assuming you mean the text at 0:16-0:20) having that there plus the good clear web address hammers the phrase/name home. I really don't think it's too much.
As for the text at the beghinning - I like the good clean font. The trend currently seems to be to have is skaning about (like in an earthquake) which would certainly be OK with such a clear font, but I find the straightforwardness of the message rather refreshingly simple.
EDIT: But please bear in ming I know sweet FA about graphics, marketing and presentation - I'm just speaking as a punter.

Here is the most current revised version without the logo. Would you mind having a look and comparing the ends to see which you prefer?

Thanks again for your time and feedback.

**TimStannard** · 11-05-2011, 05:37 PM

I have a preference for the first version both for the beginning and the end!
Beginning - in the second version, the message, being entirely against the black background, feels somewhat "separated" from the content.
The "helpful Steve" text (logo) in the first is more memorable than just helpfulsteve.com (to me anyway).

I'd be interested in what others think though. I'm not really qualified to comment.

**NFox** · 11-07-2011, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by TimStannard

I have a preference for the first version both for the beginning and the end!
Beginning - in the second version, the message, being entirely against the black background, feels somewhat "separated" from the content.
The "helpful Steve" text (logo) in the first is more memorable than just helpfulsteve.com (to me anyway).

I'd be interested in what others think though. I'm not really qualified to comment.

Thank you, I really value your opinion. I too would like to hear what others have to say if you don't mind sparing the time.

Regards,

**Midnight Blue** · 11-07-2011, 02:37 PM

I prefer the first also but don't just have the Helpful Steve logo disappear make it do something so it turns into the web address.

**dariv** · 11-07-2011, 03:24 PM

I prefer the 2nd version, but I'd agree with Midnight that you should turn the helpful steve logo into the url at the end, but I like the flicker on the url.

As for the letters at the beginning, I personally would put them into Motion or maybe even LiveType to get some kind of flashing/blooming effect on them and maybe even add a colour gradient and I'd probably have a look to see if they looked better with their own screen and background or if I wanted to keep them over the video.

If you do have some more footage of someone holding up a device and filming a gig then transitioning into someone watching would also be good, but saying that I totally get what the app is about.

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