ALEGORI (2011) - Short Film

**sOUL pLANE** · 10-15-2011, 04:39 AM

hi there everyone!
just joined the forum, and wanted to share our short movie

We are Afterschool Project, a film maker team from Indonesia
Our film is called "ALEGORI", directed by Albert Koto Indardyo
The story and all the music on the film is 100% original
The film is in Indonesian but it has a great english subtitle

here is a synopsis of our movie :
"sleep, the only thing he's craving for at the moment. let alone dreams: having a fast car, going to Bali, having a job, or even marriage. His biggest dream is to sleep peacefully."

Afterschool Project's Alegori - YouTube

The film is also available on Vimeo, go check it out!
here's the link www.vimeo.com/28928848

I hope you all enjoy the movie!
comments and critics are very welcome..
thank you very much!

**Jim Jones** · 10-15-2011, 05:55 AM

Ok, having read the post on “return the favor” I have watched the film and given my humble opinion be it as it may.
I really like the racking focus on the clock. I once read a book on filmmaking that stressed the importance of “continuity”. Your use of the clock throughout does a nice job of that.
I am not sure if it was done on purpose, but it was brilliant if it was. At the beginning of the film, the main character says, “that is all I want” while showing the image of a happily married couple. According to the subtitles, he actually says, “a good nights sleep” or something like that, but the image tells us something else. Excellent in my opinion.
Very good use of DOF at 3:30. Right away I realized this pretty girl was going to be of importance. And, I liked the fact that she stopped to donate to the sleeping homeless person at 3:59. That gave the protagonist that extra instant of contact. Just a subtle touch that seemed to fit.
Now, as much as I hate to do it, I did spot some issues. First of all, there is a timing problem with the shot @ 2:33. The protagonist is drowsy and receives a phone call. He doesn’t react to it right away. Have you ever been half asleep and heard the phone ring? Generally you jump out of your skin. In my opinion, he should respond to the phone ringing right away, and with surprise. The same thing happens at 5:29
Also, there are several points in the film, 3:26 and 3:54, for example, where the screen is split into sections. The fact that they are not symmetrical in some way makes it look messy. I face the same issue when using FCP ( I am not sure if this is what was used). I haven’t found a way to automatically make images the same size.
I enjoyed the ironic ending. Great twist. Lastly, I don’t consider myself the slowest reader and I had difficulty keeping up with the text.

Good film in my opinion.

**Midnight Blue** · 10-15-2011, 03:30 PM

I thought you made a good job of this. I think it could have been shorter as a lot of the scenes where just repeating them selves. How many times do wee need to see the boss not happy about his work? once is enough to tell the audience what we need to know. Have a look at each scene and see if it adds to the story.

If you up the pace generally and do some chopping it would be a nice little movie.

**sOUL pLANE** · 10-16-2011, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by Jim Jones

Ok, having read the post on “return the favor” I have watched the film and given my humble opinion be it as it may.
I really like the racking focus on the clock. I once read a book on filmmaking that stressed the importance of “continuity”. Your use of the clock throughout does a nice job of that.
I am not sure if it was done on purpose, but it was brilliant if it was. At the beginning of the film, the main character says, “that is all I want” while showing the image of a happily married couple. According to the subtitles, he actually says, “a good nights sleep” or something like that, but the image tells us something else. Excellent in my opinion.
Very good use of DOF at 3:30. Right away I realized this pretty girl was going to be of importance. And, I liked the fact that she stopped to donate to the sleeping homeless person at 3:59. That gave the protagonist that extra instant of contact. Just a subtle touch that seemed to fit.
Now, as much as I hate to do it, I did spot some issues. First of all, there is a timing problem with the shot @ 2:33. The protagonist is drowsy and receives a phone call. He doesn’t react to it right away. Have you ever been half asleep and heard the phone ring? Generally you jump out of your skin. In my opinion, he should respond to the phone ringing right away, and with surprise. The same thing happens at 5:29
Also, there are several points in the film, 3:26 and 3:54, for example, where the screen is split into sections. The fact that they are not symmetrical in some way makes it look messy. I face the same issue when using FCP ( I am not sure if this is what was used). I haven’t found a way to automatically make images the same size.
I enjoyed the ironic ending. Great twist. Lastly, I don’t consider myself the slowest reader and I had difficulty keeping up with the text.

thank you for watching!

yes, the racking focus on the clock was done on purpose to give a comical touch to the film.
we really appreciate on your detailed comments and critics on the film, and we hope that your comments and critics will make us a better film maker team.
we're glad that you enjoyed the film

thanks again for watching!

Originally Posted by Midnight Blue

I thought you made a good job of this. I think it could have been shorter as a lot of the scenes where just repeating them selves. How many times do wee need to see the boss not happy about his work? once is enough to tell the audience what we need to know. Have a look at each scene and see if it adds to the story.

If you up the pace generally and do some chopping it would be a nice little movie.

Noted. Thank you very much for the critics and comments. we really appreciate it!
Glad that you enjoyed the film, thanks for watching

**enc** · 10-16-2011, 07:51 PM

i enjoyed it. the music helped move it along but i do think it needs a bit of a nip and tuck. noticed a bit of audio distortion in places too.

**sOUL pLANE** · 10-18-2011, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by enc

i enjoyed it. the music helped move it along but i do think it needs a bit of a nip and tuck. noticed a bit of audio distortion in places too.

glad that you enjoyed it!

noted. we'll be more careful on the audio on our next project.
thank you for your critics and comment, and thanks for watching!

**TimStannard** · 10-19-2011, 06:06 PM

Nothing to add. I really enjoyed the screenplay, the filming and the acting. The unsymmetrical PiPs were a bit of a distraction as Jim said. I don't mind them being asymmetrical - but they are so nearly symetrical they look like a mistake.

**sOUL pLANE** · 10-22-2011, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by TimStannard

Nothing to add. I really enjoyed the screenplay, the filming and the acting. The unsymmetrical PiPs were a bit of a distraction as Jim said. I don't mind them being asymmetrical - but they are so nearly symetrical they look like a mistake.

thank you for the comments and critics, will take note of the PiPs problem..
glad that you enjoyed it! and thanks for watching!

**MozartMostly** · 10-26-2011, 07:46 AM

why does the pro just want to sleep over a career and the mainstream norm ? I never full understood. Still I liked it.

**sOUL pLANE** · 10-30-2011, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by MozartMostly

why does the pro just want to sleep over a career and the mainstream norm ? I never full understood. Still I liked it.

thanks for watching! glad that you liked it!
to answer your question, SPOILER ALERT :
it is simply because he's a homeless guy, and having a career or those mainstream norm seems too far to reach for him.