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Thread: A Home Coming Surprise - Opinions needed!

  1. #1

    Default A Home Coming Surprise - Opinions needed!


  2. #2
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    This is much better than your other production. I understood the story line straight away which is important in this sort of video... it touched me with the emotion of reunion. I would have explained the next part...where were they going to ?.. you need to work on your story telling as the second part was not all that clear at all. You need to explain either by narrative or words ..............show me in this case is not enough.. Wonderful video though it was touching if not just on recognising it on a personal level of experience..

  3. #3

    Default Re: TFV's critque of my video.

    @TFV -
    Your insight is absolutely invaluable and I really appreciate you taking the time to actually look at my
    work. I know it's a bit on the long side and people just don't have the time to sit in front of a comp
    for exteneded periods of time. Thanks for your guidance and I'll be working on painting a better
    picture for my viewers! Thanks A LOT!

  4. #4

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    I was wondering what the intended audience is for this movie. If it's just for the family then it's fine if it's for a wider audience it needs a lot more work explaining who is who, all the whys and wherefores etc. At the very least some sort of voice over narrator. Just putting titles wouldn't work for this video.

  5. #5
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    I struggled with this. Unlike TFV I did not understand the storyline at the beginning and I don't see how anyone could until Michael's interview nearly halfway through.

    My initial assumption (clue from the title and images) was that it was about a serviceman returning from - well, it's not stated, but presumably a tour of duty somewhere. Then it seemed to be about where he was going to live. I'll assume that if I was a US citizen with friends or family in the armed forces I'd know what Pacific Beacon was without having to Google it.

    Then, nearly halfway through, there was the interview with "Michael" which hinted that there was an interesting story to come - "Little did I know what I was getting into". Finally we get to learn that the parents were leasing the appartment as a surprise. OK, it was a nice surprise, but hardly worthy of that build up. There again, for the parties involved it was a pretty big deal, so I can't really fault Michael for being a little over the top.

    Production wise I wouldn't knock the camerawork. It has a home movie look and that is absolutely fine for this very personal film. I thought the sound was poor though. Michael's voice was very thin and several times it was difficult to hear what he was saying over music - you have to duck the music right down if it contains lyrics. The two audio clips in the opening shots had far too much background noise. After three attempts I couldn't make out the beginning of what the boy said.
    Tim

  6. #6

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    Well everything that you said was spot on. I didn't have quality sound equipment, and although I understood perfectly what was being said, I was there, so I suppose it would be easier for me to understand! I was asked to do this on a Sunday morning and the guy was arriving from deployment that Monday. They were hoping for the "Surprise Homecoming" T.V show to shoot this for them and unfortunately, they have heard back from them. The video was somewhat modeled after that show as far as how it would be shot, but all in all there were SO many areas where I had the opportunity to either capture the shot better or fine tune something in editing. I thought that the entire thing went on a bit too long as well. They were extremely happy with it though, so in the end at least they were more than satisfied, but amongst you professionals, I knew where the video stood. I just needed to have an expert opinion as to the things that I hadn't already caught. I'm always about improving.

  7. #7

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    Looking over the video once more .. like we all do when we want to put something truly great out!! Have to say I'm truly embarrassed when I look at the beginning of this video and the audio disaster!! It still tugs at me from a deeper place .. mainly because I've spent the last 10 years out of 12 deployed all over the world either getting the living Shhhh scared outta me, or scaring the living Shhhh outta someone else. It's been a long time since back in the motherland and I know what this guy and his family were going through with this deployment. The lesson to be learned in all of this is that I've gotta really get my act together if this is what I want to do! The audio and shot choices were just abominable when trying to convey to the viewer what was happening and why! Good catch and I'll be working on my story telling for sure!

  8. #8

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    Don't beat yourself up to much we all learn every day with every new project. I am not a big time Pro at this, I've only been doing it a short time, couple of years, I learn with every project I do.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Underground.Media.Kings View Post
    Looking over the video once more .. like we all do when we want to put something truly great out!! Have to say I'm truly embarrassed when I look at the beginning of this video and the audio disaster!! It still tugs at me from a deeper place .. mainly because I've spent the last 10 years out of 12 deployed all over the world either getting the living Shhhh scared outta me, or scaring the living Shhhh outta someone else. It's been a long time since back in the motherland and I know what this guy and his family were going through with this deployment. The lesson to be learned in all of this is that I've gotta really get my act together if this is what I want to do! The audio and shot choices were just abominable when trying to convey to the viewer what was happening and why! Good catch and I'll be working on my story telling for sure!

    It's a hard life if you don't weaken. Relax. If you have only concentrate on your story telling then all good. Try looking at 2 reel guys on you tube. There are some videos on production that my interest you over this subject.

    Heres a link. Larry Jordan is a very well known editor and producer in the US. 2 Reel Guys - Episode 13 - Camera Angles - YouTube

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Underground.Media.Kings View Post
    The audio and shot choices were just abominable when trying to convey to the viewer what was happening and why! Good catch and I'll be working on my story telling for sure!
    As Midnight says - don't beat yourself up. The whole point of posting here is to get possible pointers for improvement. (And this is why you get honest and frank responses from people here - no-one's intention is to trash the work presented, only to offer suggestions for improvement) The circumstances you describe would have made this very difficult for anyone who ddn't know what to expect. The thing is you've done it now and have some idea of some of the challenges you might meet in the future - so next time you'll be better prepared.

    It often takes a stranger's ears and eyes to point out what is wrong. I had a similar thing recently where some of my clips were much darker than the rest - I simply couldn't see it until someone pointed out exactly which clips were darker. Then it was blindingly obvious to me! Sounds like you've had a similar thing with the audio.

    But despite all that, due to the very nature of the subject, fotage of any quality is infinitely better than no footage at all.
    Tim

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