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Thread: "Too Far Gone" My first short film

  1. Default "Too Far Gone" My first short film

    Hello everybody,

    I have completed my first short film which I wrote/directed/produced and I am excited to see what everyone thinks. If you would be so kind as to give me a review on what you think of the different aspects of the film (writing, acting, editing, etc.) it would be greatly appreciated.

    I will be checking back here often as well, but would greatly appreciate reviews and comments on the youtube site as well. Thank you in advance!

    Here is the link:


  2. #2

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    First a couple of minor technical points which will make your next movie better. There was a few sound issues example when the old man turns to light his cigarette you loose him from the mic. I suspect you had a fixed mic position when in situations like that you need a boom operator to move the mic to follow the actors. The other thing is the lack of lighting has affected the image quality of the movie. Any lights are better than no lights. I understand this was your first movie, I presume the budget was tight but think about some sort of cheap lighting for next time, it will improve your films.

    I say these points above because I was extremely impressed with the over all result. The script was very good, delivered by some top notch acting. It's not often you get lost in the story of a first time video like this. You did an excellent job of directing it to. If you can polish up on the few technical weaknesses, I think you could produce some real quality.

    Well done to you and your team for producing and excellent film.

  3. Default

    MidnightBlue,

    Thank you for your excellent review, as well as tips/recommendations.

    I actually did have a boom operator and lighting guy who seemed to be extremely knowledgeable as well as experienced, however I admittedly don't have a technical eye whatsoever, so my ability to judge the quality of some of the things they were doing is not very good unless it is on the extreme end of the spectrum quality-wise.

    I am primarily a writer that was desperate to get his work on tape so assumed the role of director to do so, and hired a team around me that had the technical knowledge I did not. I am very happy with the overall result. It is truly a dream seeing something you write come to life on screen!

    I plan to expand my knowledge on the more technical side of things to be more well-rounded on the next go-round, and appreciate your review very much!

    Thank you!

  4. Default Also

    I originally watched it on a burned DVD copy and it was much brighter. It does look MUCH darker here online. I wonder if it's just the tv and/or computer settings?

  5. #5

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    Perhaps it's just the render you did for YouTube but to my eyes it looks like the camera sensors where struggleing due to lack of light. That doesn't stop the movies it's self from being good.

  6. #6

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    In the kitchen scene, continuity was all over the place, but the film itself was quite good.

  7. #7
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    My first thought when watching the early scene (and without reading any of the other comments here) was that her's a guy who has made a good job of writing a proper script who really should get people who know what they are doing to film it. In other scenes the technical aspects were better.

    So, quite independently, I'd had same thoughts as Midnight. It is perhaps a shame that it was so poor in the opening and such a significanytly long sceen as you may have got away with it later. It wasn't just the darkness (and I agree with Midnight, there looks like a lot of noise in the image, caused by the camera struggling), it sounds wrong: the older guy sounds like he's speaking directly into a mic (there's not enough "room noise") but the younger guy sounds like he's actually in the environment. The difference is particularly pronounced at the beginning (quite probably recorded separately) and I wondered whether the disembodied voice (for we do not see the actor yet) was an "angel" or "conscience" or something. I didn't like the fisheye caused by the extreme wide angle lens either. Aside from the continuity with shots, why did the burglar turn on the radio? And how did his taking the gun out of the drawer cause it to stop! All in all a better locaton for this opening scene would have turned a good script into a good film.

    By way of contrast some fo the later shots were very good. The overhead shot of the hostage was well done except that the light on him should have been flickering to reflect the TV images he was watching.

    The ages home movie footage was good and I like the way you keep us guessing why the wife & kid were shot, but then explain it without overblown sentimentaliy.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Tim

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    Oh, and Jason,

    Please stop posting "I'd appreciate it if you'd look at my film" after you look at other people's films.

    We'd all appreciate it if people would look at our films, that is the sole reason for us posting our films here. Putting links back to your film is verging on spamming and suggests that the only reason you have reviewed other people's films is to get them to look at yours.

    In the meantime, I'm sure these people would appreciate it if you'd look at their films:

    http://www.videoforums.co.uk/video-m...ch-2011-a.html

    Cheers!
    Tim

  9. Default

    Thank you Tim,

    I actually did look at the majority of those, and commented on the ones I felt I had worthwhile input to share.

    I was under the impression the point of the board was to share your work and enjoy others' work, so didn't realize doing both in the same thread would be frowned upon. But, I will follow the rules of the board.

    Thank you for your review, and for all who have took the time to comment above. I'm very happy the script seems to be enjoyed as that's the major piece I played a part in and wanted to share with the world.

    Unfortunately, where I am from, Boston, (where this is shot), and there is not a person that I know that seems to be interested in thinking outside the box and doing anything other than the basic essentials of existing. Atleast not within my circle of friends. Crew-wise, I did not know anyone who assisted with this film before production day, and have not really remained in contact with them since.

    So needless to say, I'm extremely excited to find people who share the same passion as I do, and moved out to California to hopefully find a team of people interested in working together on future projects.

    Thank you to all who have shared their thoughts so far, and I look forward to anyone else who would be kind enough to do so.

    -Jay

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by JasonHebert View Post
    I actually did look at the majority of those, and commented on the ones I felt I had worthwhile input to share.
    Understood and your input is invaluable. But most here will do a "tit for tat" anyway. A more sublte way which probably wouldn't be considered spamming might be to put a link to "My latest film: " in your sig.

    I hope you find some like minded people in California and look forward to seeing some of your future work.
    Last edited by TimStannard; 04-11-2011 at 10:11 AM.
    Tim

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