The titles dropping down like that is perhaps a bit cliché but it is a fun piece so I'm in two minds about that. Nice to camera piece at the beginning and a great idea to look up to the tower at the end so you can then cut to a view of the tower, this shows good forward thinking. I think you made it look easier than it actually is to do. I would have got Hilary Brooks to do her bit again or repaired it in editing, after she made a little fluff with the "need to be come out" line. Just cut the unnecessary "be" while on a cut away of the bells. Nice cut aways through out the piece.
The split screen idea doesn't work for me. I would start with the person being interviewed, then just go to a full shot of them coming down the tower. If that becomes boring then back to the interview shot. Unusual angle on the final to camera piece. So how come you didn't get up the tower for the obvious pointing down shot ?