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Thread: First 5 min short

  1. #1

    Default First 5 min short



    Hi all, I made this film for college last week, wanted to get some feedback on it. Basically I know there is a lot wrong with it, and I am tempted to remake the entire thing with a longer timeframe just for fun. I had to write an evaluation for college, in which I also just listed things I would change if I did the film again:

    Opening credits – make them more interesting, part of the first scene perhaps.
    Establishing shot – perhaps needs to be more captivating, didn't plan it well enough.
    Tripod – there were many shots where a tripod really should have been used but I didn't realise just how much of a difference it makes until I started editing.
    More footage – I think you really can never have enough footage, for instance in the opening sequence I could have done with a few more shot angles, the clip would still be the same length it would just make the beginning a bit more captivating.
    Audio balance – The music is too loud, the first bit of dialogue too quiet and the dialogue at the train station is way too quiet.
    Light balance – I really need to think more about lighting, and setting the light balance before I take a shot. The light changing from shot to shot is quite distracting.
    Microphones – I did try and get one from college but unfortunately there were none left the day I needed one, but I think a boom microphone would have helped a lot with the audio balance issue.
    The “time passing” scenes – such as the shot of the front door whilst Tarik is watching TV. I need to research a more professional way of doing this, as my attempt was just an after-thought after I'd started editing.
    The dead dog – a few people who watched the film didn't quite get that the dog had died. Originally I had it planned that he had gotten into a can of ant powder, which you can just about see in the background of that shot. I think I just should of planned this scene better, as it is rather crucial to the story, but perhaps so obvious to me as the writer that I simply overlooked it.
    The phone scene – I think this scene could have been a lot better, it was partly ad-lib unfortunately Tarik rushed it a bit, after 4 takes we just sort of gave up. The fact that it was all one shot probably didn't help either. The dialogue probably could have been written better too, and perhaps I could have mentioned how the dog died which would make it more clear for the viewer.
    The phone being put down – another afterthought, as mentioned in the diary I didn't think it when we were first shooting and when I did film it, it was a different time of day, which is very obvious when you watch it. Should have been planned better.
    The scenes where Tarik is walking – seems to drag quite a bit, again more shots would of done wonders here I think, and perhaps some music?
    The scene where the bag was stolen – unfortunately as we were filming this about 50 school children were coming up the stairs to get on a train so it is all very rushed and done in one take. Better planning needed.
    The chase – I'm quite happy with how this turned out, but I would like to experiment with moving cameras in the future which I think would add to the chase effect.
    Fade to black – the part before the bag is opened might be a bit too long.
    Thanks for watching, any criticism is appreciated.

  2. #2

    Default

    The sound should be better, much better. Don't expect to be able to use the cameras onboard mic. The white balance was off at 2:27 it was creamy white compared to the rest of the scene. The was some annoying red flashes in a few places example 3:03.

    It needs re-editing to tighten the whole thing up. The black screen ie camera in the bag was a good idea but not lasting over 10 seconds of blackness if you half that it will still be too long 2 seconds at most. AND the sound at the end wants cutting when you go to titles.

    There was some good shots and I see some ideas that help to make it more watchable. BUT unless you get an external mic/sound recording your films will not progress much beyond the level of YouTube fodder.

  3. #3

    Default

    Thanks Midnight Blue, I think I'll be getting myself a mic when my next pay day comes then, any recommendations? I don't want to spend too much...

    As I mentioned I did the film for college, and it needed to be a five minute film. I think maybe I would benifit from as you say tightening it up, since I did use a lot of "filler" to get the time up.

    Oh and the red flashes, I have no idea what they are, how they came to be or how to stop them :s

  4. #4

    Default

    What stage do the red flashes appear, if it's not until you upload to YouTube then you could just try uploading again.

    I'm not an expert on mics. I'm not an expert on anything really but that doesn't stop me talking as though I am. I recently got a Sennheiser K6 series with a ME66 head for it. I liked the idea of being able to get different heads which after the initial purchase of the K6 will be more economical than getting different mics.

    If you read THIS THREAD it will give you some ideas about mics.

  5. #5

    Default

    I've just checked and the red flashes seem to have been introduced in Premiere Pro, no sign of them in the original footage.

    I also just had a go at re-editing the film but it really does seem like I'm just flogging a dead horse, for instance that telephone-being-put-down scene, I just can't make that look any better without re-shooting it and the tripod is back at the hiring office at college...

    Ugh, and that thread you linked didn't really give me what I wanted to hear! The cheapest mic it recommends is £150 and thats really just money I don't have at the moment :(

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shred View Post
    Ugh, and that thread you linked didn't really give me what I wanted to hear! The cheapest mic it recommends is £150 and thats really just money I don't have at the moment :(
    But the important thing about that thread is that you understand why you need to spend serious money on a mic.
    Also, try looking at it this way - how much would you spend on a camera? Given that sound is at least as important as visuals, shouldn't you spend a similar amount? The great thing is you're at college. So you should be able to borrow (or rent atr decent rates)
    Tim

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    The great thing is you're at college. So you should be able to borrow (or rent atr decent rates)
    You'd think so wouldn't you! I have a tax rebate due so I think what I'm going to do is get myself a tripod and a decent mic and I'll see you all in a month or two with a newly filmed "Raffy Rucksack"...

  8. #8
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    Excellent! I look forward to it.
    Tim

  9. #9
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    I see the red flashes,..... the guy looked so myserable,... down trodden and unlucky,... was going to turn off then something dramatic happened which saved that video........


    Just a question,.... is it usual to cut the top of ones head off in shots like when the guy answered the door?
    Last edited by TFV; 07-02-2010 at 07:49 PM.

  10. #10

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    I have to admit I may have drawn the walking scenes out a bit, mainly to lengthen the video because it was supposed to be 5 mins long for college. And thanks for noticing about the cut of heads, I hadn't seen that.

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