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Thread: 180 Seconds

  1. #1
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    Smile 180 Seconds


    Here's my latest short film. Just as a warning, there's strong language and sexual references in here. I'd love to know what you guys think. I can see many issues with it, but I've learnt a lot making it. Any thoughts, good or bad, what do you think?

    Thanks.

  2. #2
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    I really liked it. Not something I've seen approached in this way before. I particularly liked the ending and think you made the right decision to finish it this way.

    The actress was superb, very believable, the sound was just right for this context. Little niggle, I personally thought the outside shot of the cubicle was too unsteady. In my opinion a locked-off rock-steady shot would have provided a counterpoint to the unsure, insecure feelings on the other side of the door.

    I also would have done a cooler white balance inside the toilet and on the washbasin. But those are just my preferences.

    Really well edited Rob, the editing wasn't noticeable (sounds bad, is actually a compliment) and the pace was just right.

    Well done.

  3. #3

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    Ahhh was she, wasn't she, Ahhh !

    Great job Rob. This is the best thing I've seen of yours. Gaffer was right about the editing, very good.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gaffer View Post
    Little niggle, I personally thought the outside shot of the cubicle was too unsteady. In my opinion a locked-off rock-steady shot would have provided a counterpoint to the unsure, insecure feelings on the other side of the door.
    Actually that would have been a very good idea for a shot. The shot we had though wasn't an external shot - unless the uni puts loo roll holders outside the traps

    Nice job Rob. Congrats to all involved.

    Unlike the others though I did have one problem with the editing. We see Claire apparently look at the first piece of graffiti to her lower right. That piece of graffiti appears later in the film above and behind her to the right. It may be that this was not the same piece of graffiti - but it looked the same and was enough to catch my attention on first viewing.

    The other thing here was when I first saw it, I expected to see the graffiti from Claire's POV - especially with the shakiness but obviously she was looking to the wrong side for this to have been the case so I had to contend with a brief change of perspective. I don't know if this is a "fault" with the filming or with my expectations!

    Of course neither of these would have been problems if we'd seen Claire stare into the distance/into her thoughts (presumably that's what the graffiti represents) rather trhan towards a wall.


    Other comments: I'm not sure about the shot of the door from inside the cubicle. You've clearly used a wide-angle and this has had the effect of making it look far too spacious - hence Gaffer assumed it was an exterior shot.

    An alternative might have been to shoot a fairly close shot of the inside of the door lock/handle.

    Finally, I couldn't really hear Claire "reading" the instructions (it doesn't matter and is presumably intentional that the later voices aren't clear). This might have been intentional, but if so the eye really needed to be drawn a bit more towards the important bit of the printed material. There was a lot of text/instruction on the the screen and not enough to "guide" us. I think I'd have liked you to have gone in closer and focussed on the "reading the results" heading. Another alternative would be to scan along the line she was "reading", but this is more tricky and would be overkill if we hear her reading at the same time.

    Nevertheless, this was a really good film and, as you know by now, the better the film, the more picky I get so please don't take the above as negative, just thigs to consider.
    Tim

  5. #5

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    I think the outside the cubicle shot Gaffer was referring to was at the beginning 15 secs theres is a bit of an optical illusion where you can see either. looking from the inside with the door open or looking from the out side of two cubicles one open and one closed.

    Or is it just my funny head that thinks these things.

    I hadn't noticed the looking at and then showing of the writing. It's only now Tim points it out that it would have been better to show it from the POV It sort of breaks the 180 rule (pun most definitely intended).

  6. #6
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    I assumed that the shot was from outside the cubicles. There are two traps, the left one open, the right one closed where (I presume) the worried lady is sitting.

    Whatever... I just wanted to say that it's wobbly and jolts a bit for my liking.

  7. #7

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    Just wanted to add I enjoyed it also. I do agree about the wobbly shot!, and my only other observation was the audio which I personally struggled with throughout!

    I think it's acceptable, but could be work in progress to improve!

    Hope this helps

    Cheers.

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    OK. Whilst this now has nothing to do with the film I'm confused.
    Where do we see two cubicles?
    The shot at the opening is outside the ladies room (sign on door denotes this) and is rock steady anywaty.

    At 15 sec, are you saying we see two cubicles? Sure, there's some sort of frame at the far left of the shot - is this what you reckon is an open cubicle door? I assumed this was a POV shot - Claire looking at the door. Reason being, there's a loo roll dispenser on the wall. Perhaps that's what they do now. You decide how much paper you're going to need before going to do your business.

    I don't like it wobbly either, but it makes more sense if it's Claire's POV.

    Only Rob can answer....
    Tim

  9. #9

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    At 15 seconds I saw it from outside the cubicles. AND I agree about the wobbly but it doesn't take away the excellent piece over all.

  10. #10
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    Thanks for the feedback guys. Means a lot.
    I definitely agree about the wobbly cam. I originally suggested we go all handheld to increase the worry, but was actually filmed was a mixture, and it was difficult to put it together in the edit. I'm not so keen on the wobbly shot we see early on, but it was the only one we had. Normally, I'd go and reshoot, but we were on a strict deadline. I'm picking it all up though, so it's all learning.

    Tim saw something I didn't. Yep, the graffiti she looks at is actually above her as we can see later in the film if you look hard enough.

    Interesting thing about the POV. I really didn't see that. I'd kind of like to go back and do that shot now to see how it would look.

    Onto this external shot at about 15 seconds in. Obviously it's caused some problems with establishing the spacial awareness, so it's something I'd definitely take into more consideration next time.
    The shot we see at 15 seconds is actually outside the two cubicles. The door on the right is the cubicle the girl is sitting in, and the door open on the left is the second cubicle. Maybe if this were a little wider, you could see the taps to one side of the screen from the previous shot. Or maybe just a pan from the taps could have helped.

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