I am lucky, I am retired. So yesterday me and the wife were being lazy laying in bed watching the news when the doorbell goes. Knowing were not expecting any parcels we chose to ignore it. Then it goes again, and again. That's odd.
I put my dressing gown on and go to answer it. Its Tom, my neighbour from across the road. He is about 85 but still mad keen on do it yourself. It takes me a few seconds to realise its Tom because he looks more like a small white yeti. The majority of his head and hair is covered in white paint which he has tried his best to wipe off. He explains that he was painting the rafters of his porch and his tin of paint is now all over the patio slabs outside his front door.
He swallows and says 'Josie will be home soon, any ideas?' Josie his is wife but before I can formulate a plan to get him out of his predicament, she rounds the corner with her shopping and heads for the front door. Her screams of horror makes Tom say 'Oh fuck' which is the first time I have ever heard him swear. The yeti leaves me and goes to console his wife whilst I shout I will be over in a minute.
I dash upstairs and get dressed. I have to confess, I was so tempted to grab my camera and record the event but I just couldnt bring myself to do it. I clearly would never make a journalist.
I spent most of yesterday with my pressure cleaner removing all trace of the paint from Tom's patio slabs and garage wall. Today the only trace of the crime are small traces of the yeti outfit which will just have to wear off over time.
Josie has forgiven him and given me two bottles of wine.