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Thread: Oh Deer

  1. #1

    Default Deer Park

    This will probably be the last movie I'll be shooting on my Panasonic GS200. The editing could do to be a bit tighter but I was rushing to get it finished tonight. The music may be a bit over dramatic but I liked it.


    This is the latest version.
    Last edited by Midnight Blue; 03-24-2012 at 04:18 PM.

  2. #2
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    You've got some great shots there. Fantastic close-ups.
    A very "pretty" film, I guess, showing these beasts in all their magnificence and grace. It doesn't really say any more than that and I guess it's not intended to. It's more a sit back and watch type of thing.

    If I had to be critical, one of the things I found a bit harsh was the mixing of shots that were shot in direct sunlight and those where the lighting was flatter. I might have been tempted to group the images so that all of one type came together rather than frequently swapping between high contrast/low contrast images. Of course you may have tried this but other aspects of the images didn't lend themselves to it.

    One of the problems with a film like this is it can be very difficult to find some sort of narrative to hang the film on, but a narrative would definitely add something which would separate it from "just a bunch of shots"(Narrative = a story, a plot, chain of events NOT narration). This may be something as simple as time passing (get up early and shoot some just after dawn shots, get some late evening shots and throw in a few random sun in a different position against the same landscape shots, or it may supposedly follow the journey of one of the deer. I didn't say it would be easy!

    You are right about the music - it IS too dramatic, but thanks for directing me to Rick's site. I may well use some of his stuff in the future.

    Finally, I really liked your Midnight Blue logo (and the accompanying sting) at the end. Different, whilst managing to look professional, serious and just creative enough.
    Tim

  3. #3

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    Tim, thanks for your comments. You are spot on with your critique, It was a night mare lighting scenario on Sunday. The sun kept going behind the cloud then coming out etc. You are right I did "try" and group the shots to compensate but failed and I was using and learning new software (Edius) which was one of the purposes of doing the exercise. (I have an excuse for everything)

    I always try and put some sort of narrative in my videos but I could only think of the sad tale of this once proud stag, who was once king of the hill, who is now adrift from the rest of the heard, living out his twilight years alone after loosing in battle to a younger stronger stag. (Please forgive my poetic lament). This is what came to me when doing the shoot. I obviously failed to tell the story clearly enough. On reflection I should have got a shot which showed this separation.

    Anyway thanks again Tim you was very fair with me. Especially using words like professional and creative. As I'm just a "home movie shooter" wanting to aspire to greater things.

  4. #4
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    I really enjoyed your film because you had some great shots and I am a sucker for watching deer in the wild. Ok so the music was too dramatic for the shots but I can easily see why you chose to use it. If you had been filming the rut then actually it could have been perfect. Nit picking I would say the title could have been better and should not have appeared like a sign hanging from the antlers Your end credit looked great though! The pan down and across near the start seemed out of place, I thought you were going to pan to an animal but I think it was showing the park. I don't know if you could have got any closer with the zoom for the pans across the herd, but even closer shots would have been even better. I loved the shot of the old stag scratching his head and the one where you seem below his level and he is puffing himself up. He snorts at that point and it would have been great to hear that.

    Very enjoyable though and well worth posting.

    Shrimpy

  5. #5

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    Thanks for giving it a viewing Shrimpy. The reason we went to the Deer Park was because it's rutting season and was hoping to see some action but unfortunately there was none all day.

    I really take on-board your comment about the titles. It is a weak point I have as you will notice with all my efforts, I simply put some text on a frame for a few seconds and then cut to the movie. Is there a titling thread on in the forum I could look at to help me with this.

    I was hoping to have had my new camera last weekend (better zoom) but I found out today it wont be arriving until this Friday. Can't wait.

    Well thanks again for taking the time to view my little movie.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Midnight Blue View Post
    Is there a titling thread on in the forum I could look at to help me with this.
    .
    There's surprisingly little on the 'net about titling.
    Sure, there are plenty of fancy titling programs, fancy 3D stuff which is only really suitable for TV game shows/adverts etc., but there's nothing really about the principles or guidelines - for deature length or shorts.

    For this very reason we thought we'd run a brief workshop at our own camcorder club. Another member and I started putting some thoughts together and there's a surprising amount to consider. Indeed there ended up far too much for the half evening we'd allocated, so we're actually limiting that to showing & discussing some "classic" film titles (not that I'd recommend a 3 minute title sequence for a 4 minute film.
    If you're interested, PM me your email address and I'll email you our thoughts so far (it's only a very rough draft - just ideas as we thought of them)
    Tim

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    I would like a look at that as well if possible please Tim. I have PM my details.

  8. #8

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    I've done a re-edit of this video to incorporate the advice given. Do you think it has improved it.

  9. #9
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    It certainly seemed an improvement. Removing the tilt turning into a pan (or rather splitting that into two shots) immediately removed one distraction for me. The film seemd to flow better as well - and matched the music better.

    How much of this is for real, and how much is me looking for/expecting improvements is hard to tell, but I enjoyed this version more.
    Tim

  10. #10

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    Thanks Tim. I really do have to learn things quickly as my first real short movie will be going into production soon. Like I've said before I'm just a family movie person wanting to strive for bigger and better things. So all advice is greatly appreciated.

    Dave

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