Firstly, this is much, much better than most of the short films we get here, so treat any criticism with that in mind. The "film language" was superb for this sort of film, the story worked really well and the actors all looked the part. The sound was good (although I detect a bit of ADR now and again) and all the speech understandable.
As it says above, this forum is for those looking for criticism so... A couple of things which (in my opinion) could have been different. I feel that the editing could be tightened up a tad. Trimming a few frames off some of the shots would just pick up the pace a bit. For someone looking at the film for the first time there are a few cuts where there's a "beat" at the start or end of the shot which could be trimmed out to make the scene run smoother.
For the "time passing" sequence it dragged a bit for me. That would have been the ideal situation to put in a bit of timelapse, multiple exposures, sort of thing. Others may disagree though.
From the acting point of view, now and again they could have speeded up a bit when saying their lines, or the gaps between speakers shortened by a few frames in the edit. Occasionally there was a slight feeling of "you've said your line okay, now I say my line" instead of getting the impression that there was a genuine conversation going. Having said that, the standard of acting is way higher than a lot of the stuff which gets posted here.
Most short films fall down on the story and the denoument. This didn't. Nice idea, well executed and nicely finished.
I've not much to add to what's been said above by the Gaffer and enc, all of which I agree with.
My only addition would be to watch continuity: early on in the scene between Malcolm and Veronika you shoot the conversation from two angles, but their relative placement moves between the two shots. This is not helped by the fact that the camera positions are set almost at 180 degrees to each other.
PS I meant to say that having an attractive girl smiling in the first few seconds is always a big plus.
Last edited by TimStannard; 09-05-2009 at 03:12 PM.
Very enjoyable movie with a good story line and actors. Good visual variety with the shots used and the whole thing comes together for me. Keeping the audience waiting till the end to find out what the Hispanic guy wanted was a good idea rather than putting in sub titles right the way through. Having an Angelina Jolie look a like certainly helps sell the premse too. The audio goes up and down slightly in some scenes but overall it is not that noticeable. I suppose the moral of the story is never take the apatment nearest the front door as you may get the job of doorman.
Story interesting..Acting exceptionally good....Nicely paced and timed shots...As Tim said one or two angle issues.
Sound levels disappointing being abrupt between scenes, most noticeable on outdoor shots .
Well done, a brilliant effort all the same.
I uploaded it again, and I tried to incorporate some of your suggestions. I couldn't change the angles with Veronika and Malcolm, because all of the tighter footage was unusable due to the fact that I forgot to lock exposure. I've learned not to let that happen again!
I mainly focused on trying to even out the sound. I hope it's better. Thanks for the help!
Hats off to you that was fantastic. Okay to be picky, it was a little slow to begin and at one point I did momentarily consider bailing. Then I got into it more and more and began to really enjoy the concept of the story.
At first I thought hey why no subtitles on the Spanish guy and I thought the film of him speaking went on a little too long. But then of course it hit me when they found the dead body upstairs and it made you think, if only he understood what the man was saying maybe that person would be alive today.
The shot of the main actor watching them finding the body didnt work for me but I cant think how to explain why, he just looked so divorced from the proceedings yet I thought he had followed them upstairs.