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Thread: The robbery

  1. #1

    Default The robbery

    Here's a short story about a robbery I shot recently.
    Please let me know your thoughts:

  2. #2


    Great piece! Love the concept, the writing and the acting. The guy playing the robber is excellent. Both actors are really good IMHO. The cinematography though, is,.. well,.. not up to snuff. I feel the shots are waaaay too wide. Shooting closer would have really helped a lot, especially in the over-the-shoulder shots, and having a tighter frame would have helped to heighten the "tension" of a robbery scenario. But in general, there is just way too much room above their heads, and the shots are too wide. But that's just my opinion.

    Love the facebook comments at the end!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Surrey, UK
    Blog Entries


    Agree with 2dart in the main. Great idea, natural script and well acted.

    I agree generally about too much of the shot being wasted - there's really no need to go wide once the scene is established and there is plenty of scope for much closer shots which would enhance the piece no end.

    I disagree about the headroom though. In the opening shot yeah there's waaaay too much, but for most of the rest of the film the eye line is just about where it should be - approx 1/3 from the top.

    Continuity was excellent. Credit to the editor on the cuts. Was this done with multiple cameras (if so then the colour matching was superb)?

    Sound was also pretty clear though there was a distinct difference in background hiss from one one the angles (over the victim's shoulder).

    All in all a worthy effort which ought to be up for VOTM if we get it off the ground again.

  4. #4


    Thank you guys! I really appreciate your comments.
    You're right, the framing is sloppy. I was rushing and it shows.
    I went back to wide because I had problems matching some of the shots when I was editing... I guess I shouldn't have been so wide in the first place...
    No, it wasn't shot with multiple cameras (hence me jumping back and forth to wide

    Thank you again guys!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Blog Entries


    Brilliant. Nick M. Smith has definitely got a career as a comedy actor in front of him.

    Ditto the above comments except the headroom which was about okay in the medium shots. Good sound too, not jumping about all over the place like some vids. The camerawork could have been a tad closer but, hey, you'll know next time.

    I enjoyed it.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Huntington, West Virginia USA


    Quote Originally Posted by funkyraf View Post
    Here's a short story about a robbery I shot recently.
    Please let me know your thoughts:
    The story is great; a Liberal robbing another Liberal <smile>, but you need to use the camera to bring the audience emotionally closer into the characters. This is done with tighter over-the-shoulder shots for the verbal confrontation between the two characters. You depended too much on the wider master shot, and that kept the audience at a distance. You could also redo the part where the robber jumps out. Instead of a using a master shot, have the robber suddenly appear in front of the victim, right up suddenly in his face. Your audience was not surprised. With a re-shoot, and better blocking, that short could be a real winner. The cinematography was the only weak-link.
    Last edited by worddigger; 09-01-2009 at 11:55 AM. Reason: correction

  7. #7


    Thank you guys. Those comments were really helpful.

    I wasn't really going for the suspense in this scene but I see your point and I agree that it could use a little bit more of it.

    I chose the wider shots only for editing purposes (continuity and flow) but you're absolutely right, cinematography could be a lot better. Next time I need to make sure I am not rushing and pick my camera angles more carefully... (either that or hire a decent dop

    Thank you again!

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