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Thread: First promotional video

  1. Default First promotional video

    Hi there,

    Please find attached my first draft for a 3-minute promotional video I am doing for a local video jockey for your perusal and critique. The video is eventually going to become a promotional DVD for the client (I'm being paid but only a very small amount to basically just cover my time so it's more of a favour really).

    As it's just a first draft I'm aware that there are some compositing issues during the interview piece, and I think some of the clips could be better - there's some that are maybe too long but I just really wanted some feedback on what you thought of the overall feel, concept, presentation of the project. (Edited in Sony Vegas Pro . I'm hoping it's not too far off the mark??

    If there are any suggestions as to how I could give the whole video a more professional 'sheen' I'd really appreciate it.

    Thanks in advance for hopefully not completely shattering my confidence??


    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=""></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

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    Now the lack of response is really make me nervous!! Surely someone out there has got an opinion?? I know it's not full of fancy effects, and doesn't have a 'story' or viral You Tube angle but I would have thought it warranted at least some feedback, especially from the more prolific of us forum users out there

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Warsop, Nottinghamshire.
    Blog Entries



    Shots are great, colour is great, editing is fine, .....

    Now the bad.

    I would bin his 'interview' and get a v/o artist to sing his praises... he lacks any spark, enthusiasm or inspiration at all. I would watch that and think 'If he's a DJ, I'll find someone else - lots of gear doesn't mean a good personality for my event'. I've just used a voice over guy from Nottingham for a promo and he cost me 100 plus train fare. Bargain.

    Yep, Mr. DJ's that bad! (I'm guessing you knew that though and since it's his vid, he wants to be in it?)

    One other thing. Alan and Heath is spelt 'Allen and Heath'. Although, again I wonder why that's in there, 99.9% of people wouldn't know one desk from another. Oh, and the font sucks big time. I would try to find one that looks alot more modern and 'with it'.

    I like the job you've done, I'd prefer to think it's the DJ's ego that's got in the way here.

    EDIT - Bugger, I forgot till I watched it again - the partygoers comments are way too quiet to be heard properly...

    EDIT AGAIN - Oh I'm sorry - Graham TRUDGEON? His surname sums up his personal appeal. Is that cruel? Sorry.
    Last edited by Andy Lockwood; 04-21-2009 at 12:55 PM.

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    Thanks for the comments Andy and I'll certainly take your points on board. As for the voiceover and interview, I know exactly what you mean! The ones I've included were third and fourth takes with me waving my arms frantically to get him to 'lift' himself, which he found hard to do. I put it down to nerves on camera.

    Do you have any suggestions on how to improve his interview using audio tools in Vegas? I really don't have the cash to spend on a voice over artist and I guess the only other alternative is to do it myself or go back to him and re-shoot (although he wants it complete by the end of April so there's a problem too.)

    Anyway, thanks again for the comments.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Warsop, Nottinghamshire.
    Blog Entries


    In view of what you've said, I would be tempted (if you can do it well) to voice it yourself. Failing that, my man could help I'm sure. Where abouts are you? South West I'm guessing. We could record here and send you the file I guess..

    Have a look at - he did that one for me.
    Last edited by Andy Lockwood; 04-21-2009 at 04:01 PM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Blog Entries


    The clip is well made, well shot and well edited and well... well boring actually!

    Firstly, I realise that the lack of excitement is nothing to do with you but rather the material you've got to work with. The two most important elements; the music and the DJ are naff. I appreciate that you've got to use royalty free stuff but haven't you (or the DJ) got anybody who can whip up something a bit more lively?
    As for the DJ.... wot Andy said 100%. He is sleep-inducing, I would never book him if I'd only seen this video. He needs to take a line of coke and look alive when he's talking about himself. As he is, Sid Little on Valium comes to mind.

    Of course he has to be in the video but he's doing himself no favours here. It would be better just to have a few shots of him smiling, doing something (he can move can't he?) flipping discs, anything with a bit of life and have a voice over. I'm guessing that he caters for the 30+ and wedding clientel but even we want a bit of excitement!

    Apart from that, the clips are well shot, the vox-pops sell the DJ well and it's about the right length. Not too sure about the low angle interview position but that's just my opinion.
    Last edited by Rembrandt Rob; 04-21-2009 at 04:45 PM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Western Europe


    Just to repeat what was said above, the condensed typeface and small size used in the end credits has to go. Choose a style more in tune with the subject, the service this guy provides is to an older audience but at the same time it has to reflect 'entertainment' in some way... don't use Times New Roman.

    Nicely shot, the shots in the venue give it that party atmosphere but the low angle shots of the 'boss man' don't work, they should be done straight on but saying that, this is were the weakness lies. He just comes across as too much of 'being the boss', too monotone and well boring.

    Is there not another dj who works for this company or could you use a V/O artist or take the advice given in the above posts? Better still get a female V/O artist, I don't know what it is about hearing a female V/O artist but I certainly sit up and listen (walkies?). The interviews are impossible to hear with all the noise going on around, where they shot with the on board mic? Tie clips or a stick mic in really close would have worked a lot better.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Surrey, UK
    Blog Entries


    It's probably too late now but here's a couple of things I'd do (with the benefit of hindsight)

    Throw in a few shots taken at angles (tilted camera). There are some good shots - PCs, mixers, rigging, lights but they're all straight on the vertical (well, very nearly - I noticed a couple where they were slightly off).

    There's a jump cut at 1.57. Cut to another intervieweee then back to the girls to cover it.

    As well as the fonts, watch your use of capitals (I'm not one to say when you should use them and when you shouldn't - they're titles after all - but check for consistency - "Not Just another DJ" simply doesn't make sense.)

    The dance floor looks empty. I know it's packed, but we're so used to seeing the impossibly densely packed dancefloors in commercial films/TV progs that we now take that as real. I don't think the people need be packed more densely as such but you should fill the space around all the dancers with yet more dancers so dancers are right up against the surroundings. Yes - I'm saying cheat

    As said before - this is with the benefit of hindsight (and not having to do the gig myself). It's actually a pretty tidy job, let down in the main by a poor subject and unintelligible interviews with patrons (maybe use subtitles in quotes for a few key words???")

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    Many, many thanks for all the feedback guys. I've taken it all on board (particularly the comments relating to the interview section which I (or the wife) will now do instead - I 100% agree, even with some of the more personal ones - Sid Little on Valium; I love it!! )

    Will attempt to cross off all your comments in edit and post a new version when done.

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    By the way Andy - appreciate your offer of V/O help very much - I'm going to see if the wife has a V/O skill she didn't know she had first but if that fails if I could take you up on that offer that would be great! Cheers again

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