Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: Last Flowers

  1. Default Last Flowers

    hello. a trailer, should you be interested!


    starring joseph may & sarah slean

    click view in hd please please
    hope you enjoy it

    -
    FORTY FRAMES PER SECOND PRODUCTIONS

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Bristol uk
    Posts
    8,938
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Perhaps the salient question should be are you interested in having feedback???

    Lots of posters here recently who just seem to want hits for thier you tube - it's vexing after you write 100 helpfull words.

    So, you really interested in criticism?

  3. Default

    i'd be happy to take whatever i have coming sir
    the idea is to have people see the work, not boost youtube stats

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Western Europe
    Posts
    3,409

    Default

    Where do I find the backstory to this film? As I have watched it three times and I can't figure out what the actual story is or how the characters are connected? Where is the v/o telling the viewer who these people are and what is going on?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Bristol uk
    Posts
    8,938
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    See not criticise?

    This section is not intended as a place only to spam films but as a place where we can all help eachother out with feedback.

    Happy to do so if you are not in and out so to speak just to promo your film. I am vexed at giving helpfull feedback to people who post and never come back - that's all....

  6. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikosony View Post
    Where do I find the backstory to this film? As I have watched it three times and I can't figure out what the actual story is or how the characters are connected? Where is the v/o telling the viewer who these people are and what is going on?
    my thoughts to your thoughts:

    who these people are in relation to one another:

    "hi there. i know you dont know me, but i knew your mother"
    (we see her calm, surrounding by everyone melting down)
    "...you didnt cry, how can you do that?"

    so he presumably knows the girls mother
    she is extremely put together and he is fascinated by her actions

    "i work for the funeral home, you need to know that"
    (we see him getting information about the family, and a mention of someone named mona, typing the obituary)

    "i dont belong here anymore"
    "you knew my mother, you have every right to be here"
    (he looks trapped/doesnt know what to say...)

    he is then at a dinner with the whole family, and is grilled about knowing the mother
    and he freezes again, implying that he may not be as advertised...

    we see the girl, mona, at his home now
    "sorry about your book" etc
    and he mentions he is struggling to find something worth getting him inspired over

    then the good times montage with teases of other things

    so, for me, we have learned that we are following a person who is emotionally/creatively not as put together as he could be and he sees what he wishes he could be in someone else and this intrigues him to dig deeper into this, even if he has to lie a bit to do so

    --

    the one sheet i have for the film is this:

    Writing obituaries for a local newspaper to keep the wolf from the door, coupled with the complete avoidance of his own mother’s death – universally rejected novelist Harvey Harris (Joseph May) is feeling more distanced than ever from the world and those who surround him.

    An attempt to ease his guilt leads Harvey to sneaking into the very funerals he writes about, where a chance meeting of a strong-willed woman named Mona Miller (Sarah Slean) will force Harvey to confront his greatest fears about loss and rejection and how to find a way to connect through the most severe forms of disconnection


    im not sure if i made it better or worse for you
    but the whole point of the trailer is to introduce you a bit to the vibe of the whole thing as much as anything else
    a voice over really wouldn't work in my opinion, and they seem to be going the way of the laugh track
    but that could just be personal opinion

    thank you for your thoughts regardless
    i hope mine have helped a bit
    im sure you would have slept fine tonight either way, heh

  7. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark W View Post
    See not criticise?

    This section is not intended as a place only to spam films but as a place where we can all help eachother out with feedback.

    Happy to do so if you are not in and out so to speak just to promo your film. I am vexed at giving helpfull feedback to people who post and never come back - that's all....
    mark;

    praise/dump on/mock/adore

    if you are thoughtful with your thoughts, why wouldn't i want to hear them?
    i will consider/embrace/respond as best i can, i promise

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Surrey, UK
    Posts
    10,842
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    It looked gorgeous.

    Your explanation of how the characters/backstory is described in the trailer are fine and very obvious - to you! To someone who already knows the story and has selected these clips and has seen them no doubt hundreds of times.

    The key thing here is is wasn't obvious to Nikosony who saw it not once (which is the usualy time you have to grab a potential audiences attention) but three times.

    (It is just possible that Nikosony is unique in his failing to grasp the plot so you need to test this against feedback from others)

    This is why you really need to take every opportunity to test your trailers against other people who have no involvement as you have done here.

    The next thing is not to get all defensive, but to think about the comments and ask perhaps how it could be improved. Your response to Nikosony came across as the former rather than the latter, I'm afraid.

    Having watched again I can now see why I did't take in any of what was being said the first time. The voice is so calm and sincere it sort of washed over me and had the unfortunate effect of crying out to be ignored. There were no hooks at all which made me think "I wonder what he meant by that" or "now that sounds interesting". Nothing that was said jumed out.

    The quote at the beginning seems out of context. It's unclear whether this is a quote about your short film or whether it's something to do with a film in the plot.

    If it's a quote about your film - get another quote or lose the "fucking". It's not meant to be comedy (I presume) and it's not meant to shock (ditto) so it adds nothing for most people and for some it will act as a big turn off.

    If the script is up to the quality of the acting and camerawork, I'm sure it's a good film. Sadly, the trailer misses.
    Tim

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Bristol uk
    Posts
    8,938
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fortyfps View Post
    mark;

    praise/dump on/mock/adore

    if you are thoughtful with your thoughts, why wouldn't i want to hear them?
    i will consider/embrace/respond as best i can, i promise
    Lols - cool - nicely put and I now feel reasurred you are not a mook

    Feedback to follow....

  10. Default

    i wasn't intending to be defensive in the least. i apologise if it came across that way. i have trouble being concise so i was trying my best to be succinct/clear, but i could see how it may come across that way. i was only trying to explain my reasons for choosing what i did and where, thats all.

    thank you for your thoughts about my thoughts/the trailer.
    appreciate you checking it out

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •