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Thread: Lock and Load - New Comedy Short

  1. #1

    Default Lock and Load - New Comedy Short

    Short Comedy Film

    Synopsis: A pair of bored college students hear a mysterious noise downstairs and decide to investigate.

    Crew:
    Written and Starring by: Callum Thomson and Anthony Richardson

    Filmed by: Leanne Jones



    Enjoy

  2. #2
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    Much, much better than the sci-fi. A few grins and I liked the way the actors took their roles seriously. (Occasionally a bit of over-acting but much better than a lot of "comedy" performances).

    Technically, the sound could have been a bit clearer and some of the camera and lighting was a bit rough'n'ready but all in all I liked it. In my opinion the editing needed to be a bit tighter in the action sequences and a few more close-ups would have been nice but as a "Shaun of the dead" type deadpan it worked.

  3. #3

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    haha, I'm glad you liked it. I'm the guy with his 'guns' out by the way. It was written, shot and edited in 2 days.

    No way near as much effort went into this as the sci-fi film but clearly simplicity seems to pay off. I'll definately note that for the future. To be honest the lighting was rough'n'ready as you've put it; we weren't going for anything artistic, just something to light the scene and true we could have used more close ups fo the suiting up

    Cheers for the comments

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    Now that I liked - a bit ' you tubey ' but not the worse for that. Cohesive and entertaining and a MUCH better script / acting .

    That an airsoft usp - same to be seen in a few of my vids.

  5. #5

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    I'm really pleased you guys liked it. Thanks Mark for your comments

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    Change your synopsis. Anything that talks of "a couple of bored students...." is immediately going to lose you half your potential audience....

    ...which is a shame in this case as whilst it's somewhat "YouTube"ish as mentioned above, it's not bad at all. The characters are beleivable and whilst the stlye of humour is certainly derivative (what isn't?) it's derivitive of the sort of humour I like. It has a real "Airplane" feel for cliché and for superimposing the real world. The business with the failure to understand the signed instructions and the argument over the count of three were highlights to me.

    Coupled with comments from others this all goes to reinforce the argument that it's so important to have a GOOD SCRIPT. Something which this had, but the sci-fi didn't.
    Tim

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    This needs to change... Synopsis: A pair of bored college students hear a mysterious noise downstairs and decide to investigate. You need to make this different so you can get as many people interested in watching it on YT as said above, once they read a pair of bored college students, viewers will think, oh no, here we go again.

    I think the ending could have been stronger, there should have been a payoff at the end with the 'ghost', it just sort of went flat. This isn't a regular occurrence in everyday life so it could have been used to either comical or devastating effect, but it was missed here. I'm sure pulling out the beers and handing them around or some type of better interaction with the ghost character could have provided a payoff.

  8. #8

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    i kind of agree with you guys about the synopsis. I'm thinking of what it can be replaced with. If you have any suggestions please let me know

    Synopsis:
    A bejewelled veretran decides to take the fight to the enemy and defend his property with any foce possible

    What do you think?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ctbullet View Post
    A bejewelled veretran decides to take the fight to the enemy and defend his property with any foce possible

    What do you think?
    I think students shouldn't try typing in the small hours of Sunday morning
    Tim

  10. #10

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    haha I've only just noticed this post. I was pretty drunk last night and have changed the youtube synopsis. I woke this morning remembering nothing. I think it works better thought so I think I'll be keeping it!

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