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Thread: Edge

  1. #1

    Default Edge

    Hey everyone. This is my new short. I really wanted the challenge of making a 3 min film as most of my other work is usually much longer. At times I had to be quite ruthless in the edit to keep it tight but maintain strong visuals throughout. This also marks the first time I have received shooting permission from the council. I felt this was very important considering the nature of what we were filming and they were very helpful, arranging it at no cost. The shoot lasted roughly 2 half days both of which were painfully cold and overcast (probably worked for the mood though). All the actors were fantastic and I am really grateful for helping me out. I hope you enjoy and would be interested in your feedback.



    [ame=http://www.vimeo.com/3899008]Edge on Vimeo[/ame]



    Thanks,

    Jim
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

  2. #2
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    I like your work, it is very professional looking, nice camera work, pov shots and good visual variety in the cutting. Very topical subject at the moment as it seems very little excuse is needed for anyone to be stabbed, didn't quite get the relationship between the 3 main characters and the backstory between the main character and the 'best friend' may have been a little weak. But as I said above, it just goes to show that just bumping into someone, or telling someone off or making eye contact can set off the events you portray in your video. The sound went off for me around 2 minutes in, was that deliberate or is there a problem with the file? Anyhow good job.

  3. #3

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    Thanks for the feed back Niko. The absence of sound is deliberate. I felt it heightened the emotion of that particular shot. The main criticism of this short has been why did he do it? I purposely left this out hinting only that they used to be friends. I wanted people to draw there own conclusions why. People seemed to get stabbed for no reason these days and I wanted to really get that across in this piece.

    I'll tell you, it wasn't much fun filming the stabbing scene in a busy public park!
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

  4. Default

    Nice, but the blood on the dramatic looked a bit fake. Good use of the steadicam, its was nice to see in some of the shot.

    The music was well used and the cut in the scene flows well whit the emotion. But for a dramatics movies, the lightning was a bit flat and random some times.

    Maybe by shooting at a different time of the day would help, but when theyre is cloud in the sky, whitout Spot light everything will looks flat.

    Overall verry good job on the editing, but on the lightning side, could have been better.
    Television Technician
    - My Videos -
    Sorry for my bad english im french

  5. #5
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    I just wrote a whole bunch of stuff about this then pressed the wrong button. So here we go again....

    Another film the the Commitment vein. And why not?

    I had to watch it a couple of times to appreciate why the fisrt sequences made me feel uneasy. Then I twigged it. You constantly use opposite motions from one shot to the next.

    This is kicked off with an interesting shot (the first exterior) where we and the the subject pass each other in opposite directions, we turn to follow the subject with our eyes, but continue in the same direction and the subject follows our direction. Weird and imaginitive. The POV shot of the school is followed by a POV shot of the cemetary moving in the opposite direction and that is followed rather unusually by a shot from the tombstones point of view. These constant changes in direction aren't "wrong" in any way, but they certainly add to the feeling of uneasiness.

    The cut to the close up on the bridge, on the other hand, was a nasty "jolt". Traditional continuity would have had the close up shot from the other side (seeing him walking right to left). I'm sure your crossing the line was deliberate, but the sudden jolt rather destroyed the steady build up of uneasiness and intrigue that you had built so far.

    You and Jamie must be very proud of the "the tree that I climbed" shot. A great piece of cinema achieving much in a few seconds:
    1. It was consistent with the preceeding sequence (ie it showed the subject of the narration)
    2. It moved the story on - it showed the attacker now with his hood up, perhaps he's hiding?
    3. We dolly arond the tree (it's now clear he's hiding)
    4. We continue around the tree to reveal, for the first time, the victim and the witness.

    (The camera movement in this shot, being from upper right to lower left, also reflects the earlier shot of the attacker walking past the homeless guy - but I suspect I'm guilty of over analysing here and this just happens)

    How many attempts did it take to get that shot right?

    The next section was confusing.
    We have a hand-held shot walking towards the couple.
    I assumed that its the attacker's POV but..NO - we see the attacker standing against the tree, so I assume that the attacker is watching the couple but again NO - we see the attacker is still behind the tree.

    It's the first shot that starts the confusion here for me.

    If the objective is simply to show the couple in a bit more detail, it doesn't want to be a wobbly hand held shot. (In fact, swap this shout with the steady shot of the couple at approx 1:24 and all works well)

    If, as I suspect, it's meant to be the attacker's precognition, then it needs something to make this clearer, perhaps a close up of the attacker's face (like the following shot) immediately before it.


    There again, maybe I'm unusual and it was crystal clear to everyone else

    I did not like (or myabe I did not understand) the shot at 1:28. The victim looked like he was just trying to avoid looking at the camera. He didn't look like he was trying to avoid looking at the attacker and he did not look like he was just walking along paying no attention to him. If you're walking along a path and someone is walking in the opposite direction, you HAVE to at least acknowledge there's someone there and do the little dance you both figure out which side you're going to pass.

    It is unclear whether he recognises his attacker or not (but maybe this doesn't matter)

    You dealt with the actual attack very well. Show nothing. Imply loads. Not only does this mean the detail of the deed is left to the viewers imagination (which is probably far better than anything we could depict) but also it's much easier not to film something!

    I wasn't at all sure about the repeated cuts to black. Up to three acts as punctuation. More becomes an annoyance. (Not a rule, just something I made up on the spur of the moment).

    I DID like the "no audio" effect, but can understand Nikosony's uncertainty. Unfortunately, even in professional productions, total silence immediately makes us worry that the telly's gone on the blink, the streams blocked or whatever - and, even if we realise immediately that it was intentional, because we have been transported back to reality for a split second some of the magic is lost. I'm sure you've considered suitable sounds or music you could put in there - the trouble is avoiding the obvious cliché of a heavilly reverberated "Heeeeellllppp". Probably just some of your sweeping pad sounds (as used in the closing scene) would do. It's a shame, because the cut to silence is really effective - once you know it's intentional.

    All in all a good film. Well directed, filmed and acted (with the exception of the couple shot noted above), editing was spot on and the music wholly appropriate.

    The only thing is... I don't know what it's saying.

    I appreciate you want to highlight the fact that these stabbings are senseless and don't necessarily have a reason, but this one clearly DOES have a reason "A man who used to be my friend". After viewing we are left wanting to know WHY? What sort of reason? Was it a big reason, an emotional reason, or something trivial like an argument over a parking space.

    It left me with a feeling of "so what?" rather than "What a senseless waste of human life"
    Tim

  6. #6

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    Hi Tim,

    Thank you for such a detailed feedback! I’m really glad you brought up the opposite motions as that was deliberate. I did cross the line a few times but this certainly was done for effect.

    The tree shot was one of the first images I had for the film. It was not that tricky to achieve on the glidecam. We nailed it on the 3rd take. Much harder was the track from behind as walks up onto the bridge (which I think is my favourite shot in it). I don’t have a problem with the jolt, I think it worked quite nicely. I wanted there to be almost constant motion throughout as well.

    The shot after the tree going towards them was actually a glidecam shot. (our weakest in the film) I didn’t think it would be seen as a POV so that it something I have missed. I wanted just to be a cool reveal for the couple.

    I loved his reaction at 1.28. I think he really nailed it. I wanted him to subtly have a moment were he slowly recognises the narrator.

    The stabbing aftermath scene was the hardest thing to cut and I did lots of different versions before I arrived at this. It was really well acted and felt bad about cutting it up! Once again, there was meant to be some voiceover on this part that I removed as the imagery said a lot more in my view than the VO ever could. I wanted the sound to be rough and real. I was in 2 minds about putting some low atmos across the cuts but decided against it.

    The real hard work has been the ending. ‘What was the point’ has been the feedback from a few people. The main problem is that during the edit I cut quite a lot of voice over which explained the situation and his regret. The reason for this was I just felt it was too much. I wanted him to realise what he had done, he looks in the mirror and it hits him. We shot many different reactions and this was the one I went with. Focus of this film was the immediate result of a crime like this. Maybe this is our biggest fault as people don’t take that from the piece. However, deep down, I do like the fact people ask questions about his motivation and why he did it. Its good to generate a bit of discussion and leave it for people to draw their own conclusions. Unfortunately though the result of this approach can be the ‘so what’ effect! I’ll have to work on that.

    People really need to stop being stabbed in my films! I promise the next is going to be different….
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fingercuff View Post
    I loved his reaction at 1.28. I think he really nailed it. I wanted him to subtly have a moment were he slowly recognises the narrator.
    Now that I know he's meant to be looking at the attacker, yes I agree the reaction is great.
    Perhaps the problem for me is that he doesn't appear to be looking at the attacker. In the shot before we cut to the close up, the attacker is a good few paces away and in the middle of the path. We cut to the victim who is clearly looking to his right by about 10 degrees - way off the path. Hence my misinterpretation.

    There again, it may only be me who found that.

    Interesting to read about the dangers of the message gettig lost is the edit, but possibly creating more interest.

    So, what is it to be next time? There's a lot of gun crime about. And don't forget it's the season for hedge trimmers.
    Tim

  8. #8

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    I liked it, espeicaly since you stepped out side the box, and didnt follow the standard norms. you managed to pull it off which is no easy task in itself.
    Wil

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    http://www.youtube.com/user/ChapmanProduction

  9. Default

    Loved the early Glidecam shots, particularly as your main man left his building but to be honest I wasn't keen on the whole weakness of the subject message - great filming though

  10. #10
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    Fantastic work.

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