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Thread: Hymn to Freedom

  1. #1

    Default Hymn to Freedom

    Hi all,

    Just came across this forum there and think this section is an excellent idea! It's so hard to get good honest criticism from friends, family etc...

    So here's my wee short:




    I think I'm pretty thick skinned so fire away...

  2. #2
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    I'd have topped myself if I was given that dinner...

    Quite liked the video actually. Nicely paced. Good music. Not sure about the colouring, but yeah, it worked.

    Nice one.

  3. #3
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    Loved it and worked well on me - the message is powerful and the vehicle effective.

    Maybe too much sepia and a segue to colour at the end may have grabbed the attention. Top music.

    I tht the dinner looked nice.

  4. #4
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    I thought this was very good. The elderly man in particular was very believable. The colouring worked for me.
    Nit picking....(and it IS nit picking)
    There were a few shots where it "looked" a bit different - different camera, different day perhaps - the picture was somehow "flatter" (examples at 1.16, 1.24, 1.29, 2.04, 2.10-end).
    The other thing, clean your lens/filter - very obvious smudges at 1.46-1.49. Problem is, you often don't notice this sort of thing until you're in the editing suite and by then it's too late :(
    Tim

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    Yea - I go with the 'faltter' obervation too - I tht it was too much sepia and reduced contrast maybe ?

  6. #6
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    I really enjoyed it aswell, the first good thing about it is it only lasts 2:34 minutes long, you know how to tell a story with a beginning, a middle and end in that time. The performers were good, I was expecting to see Walter Matthau or Jack Lemmon coming in the door for some reason but anyway good performances. I won't go over the technical aspects as discussed above but you did deliver the goods at the end (the pay off) with the surprise of both of them ending their lives. A very topical subject at the moment, even though most people associate suicide with the young.

  7. #7

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    Very affecting, initially I was hoping that this was going to be about the joys of the man being able to pick what he wanted to eat, wear, etc. Excellent short.

    One little nitpick that I might've changed was when the man first discovers them on the couch--maybe a closeup of him touching on of their hands and then pulling it back (I think that did happen, but it was hard to see). I spent those few seconds teetering between whether they were actually dead or if he was mistaken and they were just sleeping or something. Anyway, that's just what I was thinking about when I was watching.

    Otherwise, great job.

  8. #8
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    I enjoyed it very much, was not expecting the end message but you drove it home.

  9. #9

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    kind of depressing, but I understand why. Very professional looking to me.

  10. #10

    Default

    Wow! I love this forum! Thanks very much for some very kind and very useful comments.

    It's interesting that there's been quite a few comments on the sepia. I'm not keen on sepia myself in general and thought I had kept it quite mild in tone; I'm wondering if there's a condensing of the depth of the colour when it's viewed on this smaller scale?
    I wanted to get that kind of old feel to the film, but when I went for pure black and white it felt to cold visually so I eventually settled on the slightly warmer sepia. I'd really like to add some grain but I don't have a plug-in for that.

    One thing I'm pleased (and slightly surprised) about is that no-one mentioned the flashing that occurs at some of the cuts. This has been doing my head in but perhaps I've just watched the film too much and am really focusing on it unnecessarily.

    I'm going to be adding credits to the film (and a dedication at the front to the lead actor Iain Barrie who sadly passed away a few months ago) so, based on what people have said here, I think I will tone the sepia down a little more while I'm at it.

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