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Thread: Commitment?

  1. #1

    Default Commitment?

    Hello everyone,

    Made this short film, if you have seen any of my other work its very different. Wanted to make a very dark drama told mainly through the visuals rather than spoken word and compared to my other work was a huge task to shoot. I was very lucky to get the lead actress as she is fantastic. After this she went on to appear in Rome, Doctor Who and the artistic drama Bad Girls!

    I'll put the second part on here soon (it is availble to view on youtube at the moment though) but I would be very interested in any thoughts you guys have on it.

    YouTube - Commitment PART 1

    Cheers,

    J

    Mod - mw - have added part2 as they are one film together.

    YouTube - Commitment PART 2
    Last edited by Mark W; 01-18-2009 at 02:22 PM.
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

  2. #2
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    It intrigued me enough to go and watch part two so that can't be bad!

    I thought it was very well written, acted and directed. It had a great sense of foreboding and conveyed a feeling of obsession verging on madness. It certainly kept me in suspense.

    Technically, I thought some of the shots could have done with better lighting - the interior shots in the bedroom in the morning where the brunette girl was "sort of" sillouetted against the diffuse light from the curtained windows didn't really seem to be one thing or the other (deliberately silhouetted or visible). Having siad that, it might be YouTube compression as it actually looks like you've spent some time trying to get the lighting right.
    Some of the shots (again, the bedroom scenes in the morning in particular) seemed shakey.
    The dinner scene was too dark. Or do people really eat in the dark like that?

    I'm not sure about the red colouring in the bedroom. A red tinge normally signifies warmth. Night shots are often bluish and I think a bluish tint would match the coldness of her thoughts.

    All in all I'd say there were too many different "colours" to the film to give it a real sense of togetherness. I love the use of different tints, but here I saw (for example) the colouring of the breakfast shots in the kitchen looking quite different to the colouring in the kitchen later (when the blonde girl is imagined in the garden).

    I'm not happy with some of the continuity of action. In the breakfast scene the boy & girl swap sides a couple of times - first she's on the left of the shot, then the right, then the left again. It's possible this was intentional - the shot's where she's on the right are when we're hearing her thoughts - we're intimate with here - whereas in the shots where she's on the right we are simply impartial observers. (There are other continuity problems in part two where the blonde girl is being followed through the shop - this may be done intentionally to confuse, but it wasn't clear to me)

    As should be clear by now, I'm being particularly picky because there seems little point telling you over and over about how good I thought the film was. Most of my "negative" comments might have been intentional directorial decisions - in which case, please forgive me, but if any of my comments are down to my misunderstanding of your intention, I hope they will still be of help to you.
    Tim

  3. #3

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    Thank you Tim. I really appreciate the time you took to watch the piece and give me a detailed feedback.

    A few of the points you brought up where actually intentional such as certain editing choices and the camera shake. The film was very experimental. I tried things out that were, at the time, very new to me in not only scripting and working with professional actors but also visually. The lighting was something I played around with (some results were more successfully than others). The first bedroom scene was meant to be a slight silhouette. The focus moves back and forth from her to the curtain but does not come across so well on youtube.

    The candle light dinner scene was meant to be her doing something special for him, making a bit of an effort. But the shots are quite grainy as a result of the low lighting conditions. There was a scene that I cut that disolved from a candle on the table to a street light. It was cut for pacing reasons.

    The tints were often used to convey a certain emotion or danger and not necessarily realistic lighting but I see now though that this approach can be jarring and bring people out of the film. I had a lot of fun with the lighting and maybe over did it at times (the equipment I used as well was not ideal). Too many colours spoil the broth so to speak! I also gained a lot of respect for that side of the movie business as it is an art so often overlooked and taken for granted.

    Looking back there are things I would certainly change. But there are are a few scenes that came together nicely (such as the funeral scene which played out exactly as written)

    You are right about the youtube compression which really effects the way this short looks. I have just started a vimeo account and will probably upload it there soon. The quality is so much better than the 'tube.'

    Once again Tim thank you for your comments!!!
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

  4. #4

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    Found out yesterday that Commitment is being shown on Propeller Tv (Sky Channel 195) tonight at 10.30pm as a part of their film first show. Proper happy with that!
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

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    Wah-hay! Great news. You are obviously thrilled to bits - congratulations.
    Tim

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by TimStannard View Post
    Wah-hay! Great news. You are obviously thrilled to bits - congratulations.
    Yeah, I'm thrilled! Not too many people have seen it so this is perfect. Also I'm just about to head out to a film festival today where it is in competition so if it wins anything there then its been a quite productive day!
    Driftwood - Available on iTunes - www.driftwoodfilm.co.uk

    Follow me on twitter - @DirectorJWebber

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    R E S P E C T

    I ahve ideas - I even have nearly finished scripts - I have farted about with casting people and scouting locations - I know the wrok involved with good drama so huge respect from me for this.

    Just watched part one and it really is totally plauasable and wonderfully made.

    I can only get a low b width version so that may expalin why the dark bits looked a bit dark.
    The live sound could have been better but was good enough.
    Maybe the jump cuts were not jumpy enough in the ladies loo - looked alonst like mistankes in the dit and I am sure they are deliberate.

    Congrats on the tv showing - they paying you ?

    Part 2 now.

  8. #8
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    Brilliant - I am running out of hyperbole.

    Sound seemed fine there.
    Great script you clever bastard
    Looks like you have a great team working with you on that from the credits. It shows.

    I saw two parts and my first thought was this going to be too long - it wasnt.

    I have taken the liberty of posting part 2 in the first post as theay are one together - is cool ?

  9. #9
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    Watched again. I had a gf like that once - she had boderline personality disorder.
    I fancy the brunette more - but not cos she is a mad woman...

  10. #10

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    Real quality stuff. Excellent scripting, directing and acting. Congratulations for the TV screening and good luck in the festival. Which festival is it?

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