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Thread: I Think Water Fluoridation Is Bad

  1. #1

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Surrey, UK
    Blog Entries


    Good mix of shots at the beginning and end - all relevant too. I'd have like to have seen the shot of the warning on the tootpaste held for longer so we have time to take it in (unlike you, we haven't read it time and time again whilst editing). The lack of a tripod for some of those was emphasized by the fact others were steady as a rock (and stills).

    The difficulty is in the long list of "facts". Whilst you've done a good job of generating movement on the screen but not so much as it distracts from the message or makes the text illegible, the fact remains it's a long boring list and I found I switched off.

    I have no solution - clearly you want to emphasise that there are all these disadvantages to flouridization, but on the other hand you don't want to bore your viewer with "facts".

    One possiblility is to list (scroll?) all of them. but pick just three or four for emphasis by highlighting them in some way (zoom in?) and narrating them only.

    Hopefully this would give the impression that you've highlighted just a few of the problems but there are lkoads more - you don't need to say this, give the viewer credit for having the intelligence to work this out for himself..

    I'm not knowlegable enougf to comment as to whether you've covered yourself in presentinmg opinion vs facts, but to my mind it was clear enough as you quoted your sources. Having said that internet sources tend to be taken with a pinch of salt - you'd be better off attributing the actual publications/paper (followed by a web link if possible) which would carry more weight.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Bristol uk
    Blog Entries


    I am a great fan of campaign / propoganda videos but they are hard to get right.

    Taken as a whole this 'almost' looks a bit spoofy. If you are trying to persuade people of a message gping in with ' water kills!' is a bit strong and will likely alientate the curious and provoke cries of 'zealot'.

    This preaches, it doesnt really develope a dialogue with the viewer as a way to persuade - it's just 'drink water and your head will explode'.

    I tihnk you need to woo people a bit - after all we all drink fouridated water and not many of us drop dead from it.

    I liked the way the text was presented and the supporting context shots but a real person on screen may give more gravitas.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nelson, New Zealand


    I thought it put the massage well, the narration was well done, could have done with a tripod on some of the shots, but I liked it. Tea drinkers are at an even greater risk in fluoridated areas because of the high levels of natural fluorine in it.

  5. #5


    thanks for the comments, I'll take those into consideration on the next video

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