Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Feedback: Mockumentary Assignment

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Australia, QLD
    Posts
    14

    Lightbulb Feedback: Mockumentary Assignment

    I have listed my newest film below that you should check out. Please watch.


    THE OLYMPIC GAMES: A JUGGLER'S DREAM (MOCKUMENTARY)


    My 3rd term film/tv assessment. A mockumentary about professional juggler Harry Johnson's dream to make juggling an official Olympic sport and become an Olympic athlete.

    I would really like feedback on this one as it is due in a week and I would like to know if there is anyway I could improve it.

    I would love feedback as always, but more importantly for this one. Thanks!
    Check out my short films/comedies/parodies!
    http://au.youtube.com/user/JacktheLanky

    Rate, Comment Or Subscribe! Any feedback is appreciated

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    South Devon
    Posts
    349

    Default

    Initial impressions;

    Sound:
    The backing track needs to drop more when you start narrating, it conflicts with the speech right from the start. Don't make the audience strain to hear what's going on. The narration kicks in far too soon, let people get a feel for the scene being set before charging in with information. Slow the speech down, it's far too busy.
    The 'juggler's' comments are monotonous, he's clearly reading from a script, mutter mutter! Extend that voice and round those vowels out, it's real yawn material, I can't even remember what he was saying.
    Leave some dead sound space between the narrator and the subject speaking, all this stuff just makes you feel as a viewer like you need to take a breath!

    Lighting:
    Some needed . Using ambient light indoors is fine, but this ambient light is simply not suitable, it's dull, loosing saturation generating a flat image let alone losing the aim of drawing the eye to the subject.

    Camera:
    It's just so unlikely that in some scenes the camera would be on a tripod, like the hugging scene, a documentary film maker would have been right in there, moving around the subjects to get the best angle, an static trpod mounted camera just gives the impression of a setup. Animate the cameras more generally, change the angles every now and then, if you've only one camera, shoot it from differing positions and cut them together whilst keeping an eye on continuity.
    Drop the camera height a little on the sofa scene, gives the guy a sense of drive and confidence.

    Titles:
    Do not use fancy fonts. Have you ever seen a film with fancy font credits? Stick to Arial, Swiss light, that sort of thing, the one used for 'Harry now has 10 members...' looks good. Confident looking credits generate a sense of assertiveness, and never ever use red text!

    Spend some time and make yourself a logo, I guess it's J L Productions (difficult to read), so I've knocked up this as an example:



    I'm not suggesting that's an usable one, but if you can come up with something it'll be a feather in your cap for your course assessment, the fact you thought about it may help.
    Last edited by Jerry Hill; 09-05-2008 at 11:55 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Australia, QLD
    Posts
    14

    Smile

    Wow. Thanks this is exactly the sort of detail that could really help with my assignment. I'll change some titles and change the playback speed of the narration + the volume of the music.

    I also love the logo you made and I wanted to ask what program you made that with. I don't have a graphic editing program and it looks like I may need one.

    Thanks for your feedback again. Really appreciate it.
    Check out my short films/comedies/parodies!
    http://au.youtube.com/user/JacktheLanky

    Rate, Comment Or Subscribe! Any feedback is appreciated

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    South Devon
    Posts
    349

    Default

    The logo was made in Corel Draw, a 'vector graphics' type program, It's fairly economical to buy and very versatile. the industry standard Vector based graphics program is Adobe 'Illustrator', but it's cumbersome, you kind of have to be an expert to be able to understand it, and costly, like all Adobe stuff really.

    You could get away with a 'bitmap' based program, like Paintshop Pro (my preference), or Adobe Photoshop, but to be honest with care you could even use the simple tools in Microsoft 'Word', or even an 'Excel' spreadsheet, just use text frames to introduce movable elements, and set the frame parameters to allow overlapping etc. Once you have a suitable logo, zoom into it as much as possible, use 'print scrn' to copy the screen to the clipboard, open a simple bitmap editor, hit 'File', 'Paste' and it will dump the whole captured screenshot as a bitmap image, then just use a cropping tool to cut out the logo. Try and cut it slightly larger than your captured video frame size, or use image re-sizing to achieve the same, then you can adjust the zoom setting in your video editor to get a nice fit. Keeping it big to start with keeps the resolution nice when screen 'dumps' like this.

    Btw, for speed, rather than exporting the Corel Draw image as a bitmap, I used this screen dump process to generate the jpg file you see above.
    Last edited by Jerry Hill; 09-06-2008 at 02:33 AM.

Similar Threads

  1. 'Mockumentary' - The Extreme Squared Xpress Band
    By ldude69 in forum User Videos
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-09-2007, 02:10 AM
  2. Prof Miller's in class assignment
    By Alan Mills in forum Forum Announcements and News
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-25-2006, 11:10 PM
  3. Teaser for Our New Mockumentary
    By grewell912 in forum User Videos
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-07-2005, 01:01 AM
  4. Monkey Manah: a Mockumentary
    By Phlibbit in forum User Videos
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-07-2004, 09:33 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •