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Thread: August 2008: The Bloodstained Moth

  1. #1

    Default August 2008: The Bloodstained Moth

    Hi,

    I have used some elements of one of my posts awhile ago, "A Blade for the Dead", for a 2 minute short, entitled "The Bloodstained Moth". This was for a competition on the Horror Channel, which restricted the running time to 2 minutes. As such, the plot was revised, which completely changed the tone, and required some additional filming.

    Anyway, I hope you like this new reconstituted version.




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    Last edited by Marc Peters; 09-09-2008 at 10:57 PM.

  2. #2
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    Excellent.
    Very creepy. Very atmospheric. Effective lighting. Superb soundtrack.
    Acting - I'm afraid you didn't really look the part - sorry.

    Now the really picky stuff (so assume the film is 10/10 in my book but you're torturing me to find something wrong with it).
    The shot at 1:40 was wrong - I can't quite put my finger on exactly how (or even if) you're crossing the line, but I felt we should see your profile from the other side.
    Similarly at 1:52 there's a cut which doesn't work. Prior to that we see you approaching the door, then it is cut to what I presume is meant to be a POV, BUT the shot is from further away from the door and so your back should be in shot.
    My only other nag was you giving yourself all those credits. A simple written & directed (or produced) by implies all the other stuff if no-one else is credited (except for acting which should have an additional credit). More than that and it looks like you're on an ego trip. At least they were reasonably understated.

    BTW did you record any of the soundtrack yourself? Or what were your sources? I really thought that it made the film.
    Tim

  3. #3

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    I really enjoyed this video, eerie soundtrack as Tim said very atmospheric, good job!

  4. #4
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    I watched your video aswell, you certainly captured the eerie atmosphere very well. The music and sound effects are spot on. I don't see a problem with the two shots TimStannard has pointed out, you can cut from a head on shot (talent looking up at the stairs) to a side profile (the head on shot is neutral), if you had gone from a right side profile to a left side profile then that would have been a mistake. But you cut from a head on shot, where the line of action is going through the talent to a side profile, you can do that. The other one is ok aswell, with the talent starting to move to the left of the screen and cut to a shot from behind again you have done it right by staying on the correct side of the line. The credits need to done a little bit bigger and held for longer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nikosony View Post
    I don't see a problem with the two shots TimStannard has pointed out
    I bow to your far superior technical and practical knowledge, but both shots just jarred with me (presumably it wasn't the intention of the director to disorientate).

    In the second of my two examples, it seems to me we see the talent approaching the door from behind him followed by the talent's POV. BUT the second shot is from further back than where the talent's POV should be - it's as if we're still standing behind the talent but he has disappeared. (But I presume it IS meant to be a POV shot as it's deliberately shaky)

    I dunno. Maybe it's just me.
    Tim

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    Weird, creepy and really very good. Sound control was excellent - I suspect alot of work went into getting the audio right, and it shows. Super piece.

  7. #7

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    Very well produced, creepy and top sound track, if anything I would have had some of the cut away edits a little shorter, I dare say you were editing to a horror format where this timing is all important.

    Still sometimes less is more in this sort of edit, although I have never produced a horror piece its really difficult to comment, its just a gut feeling about the edit.

    Nice work.

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    Absolutely excellent.

    Superb lighting, well composed pictures and top editing. The sound was first rate as was the music.
    I agree with NikoSony and disagree with Tim, I saw no conflict or problem with the edits.

    I have seen many, many "film classes" produce stuff with a whole crew, actors, teachers and finances which was nowhere near the standard of this two-person production.

    Top Notch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Guru View Post
    I agree with NikoSony and disagree with Tim,
    OK. It's just me
    Tim

  10. #10

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    Wow, two person production...now that is amazing..

    I have a little saying about crew as well, less is more....its my saying of the month.

    Been there too many times when you could say the crew was shooting the movie, not the director.

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