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Thread: A short police scene, please let me know what you think.

  1. Default A short police scene, please let me know what you think.

    Ive done the second part of a number of different scenes. This one is a police script.
    Here is the direct link,
    MySpaceTV: Police Scene by Richard

    You can also get to it via my myspace page which is www.myspace.com/rjgfilm
    Its the police script.

    Can you please let me know about the following parts.

    Acting
    Sound
    Picture
    Script
    Editing

    Overall quality of the piece.

    I value all the input I can get,

    Thanks in advance.

  2. Default

    No thoughts?

    I know the sound is pretty bad but since filming this ive bought a Rode NTG2 mic which will sort my sound problems out.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Nice acting, great location, smoothly edited but...

    You're right, the sound really needs sorting out.

    My biggest issue was the lighting. A lot of the time you couldn't really see the faces of the actors which meant a lot of the emotion was lost. I also suggest that the white balance needs watching in future.

    A lot, lot better than most short dramas though.

  4. Default

    Thanks, ive made some changes with the sound, managed to work with what I have and raised up the dialogue somewhat. I'll do some colour correction as well and see if I can make it look a little more film like.

  5. #5

    Default

    I liked it a lot. Aside from the sound issues that have been raised, the only thing that bugged me was the scene when the officer is standing near the bar with Mccallister and bodyguards - the character is hidden completely behind the cop. In many of the other scenes it's obvious that a lot of time was put into the location of camera and actors - very well done.

  6. Default

    Ive made the chages that I wanted to make.
    Basically, ive recut it, played with the sound. Its still not perfect at the start but its better. The second half where they go upstairs should be a lot better.
    I have also worked on some colour correction and made it widescreen in an atempt to make it more film like.
    heres the link...

    MySpaceTV: Police scene - recut take 2 by Richard


    Let me know what you think, please



    Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by rgrebby; 07-16-2007 at 10:56 PM. Reason: link added

  7. #7

    Default

    As has been pointed out the main issue is with the lighting. It's OK in the bar scene but in other areas it is too dark and uninvolving. There's also the start of a zoom in the corridor which stands out from the otherwise good editing. The acting and script are good.

    My one gripe, which could be considered contentious and is probably explained by the fact that it's viewed without the contectual framework of the whole story, is where's the originality. What's the point of having the freedom of an independent production and then make something that looks and sounds like it's made for TV.

  8. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mhh View Post
    As has been pointed out the main issue is with the lighting. It's OK in the bar scene but in other areas it is too dark and uninvolving. There's also the start of a zoom in the corridor which stands out from the otherwise good editing. The acting and script are good.

    My one gripe, which could be considered contentious and is probably explained by the fact that it's viewed without the contectual framework of the whole story, is where's the originality. What's the point of having the freedom of an independent production and then make something that looks and sounds like it's made for TV.

    Thats great thanks, the whole peice was supposed to taken from a TV drama. Im working with an actor that wants to go from theatre to television and we wanted to make something that could have been seen on TV. So im glad its come across that way.

    As for the lighting, I thought the lighting wasnt much good downstairs where as when they move upstairs into the last part of the scene its a lot better.

  9. #9

    Default

    Good Job! Yes, the sound does need some work, but the writing and acting are awesome. I want to see some more.

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