That's an extremely nice piece, Sean. The crits the guys give above are reasonable, and worth noting. I'd be glad to try and get it broadcast on a sky channel programme I make if you could sort out the presenter problem (i.e get a bit more activity for yourself), and clear any copyrights needed.
If you're looking for a quick and simple fix on the presenter situation, you could do a stack of cut aways of yourself looking more closely at the coasters on the park, queuing-up (if you have to), and maybe (depending on the park, insurance comments and risk factors) include some rider-eye viewpoint footage. This would really brighten up the show. You need to be wearing the same kit, and have a similar background for the weather/sky background.
I try to make someone happy every day - but it may not be your turn today . . .