I'm 99% certain that Sony telling you that your firewire card isn't 'Vista compliant' is rubbish (so much for the so called experts). It runs on a bog standard Microsoft driver and if you have inserted it correctly and it is showing in the Device Manager the problem must lie somewhere else. Try a different firewire cable as this has been a problem with other forum members and they solved the problem by just purchasing a new cable, apparently even if the connection is slightly loose it can mean the difference between your camcorder being picked up or not.

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Better than a poke in the eye with a pointy stick any day...