Unfortunately you have to be a bit pushy in situations like this, as this was your wedding it was a very important event for both of you. It is unfortunate that contracts have to be brought into the equation but that is the way things are progressing and if they are not done, it can lead to problems such as this in the future. At least you have the footage now and can work on it yourself, I bet you never thought you'd end up one day editing your own wedding video! It's a lesson to us all and especially to anyone else who is planning on getting married and are looking to get someone to video the event. It's better to get it done on paper first before the cameras start rolling, that way it might save you a lot of hassle after the event.

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Better than a poke in the eye with a pointy stick any day...