Footage aside, you need to go through it again and check the position of the transitions, especially where there is transparency and 2 layers showing, check at 32secs the 2nd layer cuts in suddenly when a dissolve would be better, and again at 47secs 1 layer fades out leaving the other half transparent, these should really fade together.

You definitely seem to be getting the hang of editing, and with a little extra care on the edits I'm sure you will have no problem improving. If you get yourself a cheap fluid head tripod, this will help by giving you better footage to work with.

Cheers,

Mike.

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Edius Pro, ADVC300