I really liked it. Obviously, the comments above are on point, but film noir is such a neat medium.

I have been working on putting together a film noir storyline as an intro to a vacation video. I found a great resource in this site, which streams 30's and 40's detective radio shows http://www.audionoir.com/

Plus it is a nice diversion to listen to while editing.

Again, I have gotten a number of ideas from your work, and would second the idea to create a full video story using this as a start. Great work for starting out!