Excellent start mate.

I really agree with Irishmark that there could have been a bit more cut-to-the-beat stuff like the second shot. You mentioned doing it with the "swings" footage, try it. Like Irish, I too found the black-cuts didn't work too well.

I realise that you're working with material you'd been given but...
The quality of some shots was very poor, technically I mean. A bit of lighting would have helped a lot. Also (I'm really nit-picking here) I personally found it a bit boring in the middle, I think having the boyfriend miming the rap with a bit of attitude would have spiced it up a bit. (I know you didn't shoot the footage, I'm just saying what I would have liked to see)

Nevertheless... Keep going sixthace, it was a nice promo.