A little difficult here to know what you think could be wrong with it. The clips cut fine as far as I can see. However, there's absolutely nothing wrong with using cross fades occassionally either. Since you've used a pacey piece of music, I can't see anything wrong at all. The only thing perhaps I would have done differently is at the point where the blackout comes in. I would have faded to black, then jumped back in rather than hard cutting to black. But that's just me.
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