For me it was ok. Good titles, great opener, editing fine. For me the slo-mo is also ok. But Marc is right about the reactions of people on cam. I would try and choose your shots a bit more carefully. Apart from (what I assume is the boss and therefore is probably a grumpy so and so), it would be far better if they had a good reaction to the lens. Bearing in mind we don't know them, I suppose they all might be grumpy and therefore miserable or avoidance shots might well be funny to the people who do? If that's the case, maybe subtitle their names accordingly?
Keep trying though, it's got promise.
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